I have been kicked out of my home office so that my DD30 can give a presentation to a BIG International company. Their interview process is notoriously lengthy. There are 6 phases and within the last phase, six parts. The presentation and interview with a panel of interviewers is the final stage. She was required to write a research paper and turn in her presentation before this last bit.
I had a great session with my therapist today. My head was in a great space when I showed up. I brought my journal and we talked about a few things in it, but she wants to talk more about what I've written next week.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day today. I hope you are loved. I hope you feel loved by your partner, if you have one. I hope you feel the love of your children, if you have them. I hope your furry babies look at you with love (like mine do) and not only when they are hungry and want you to feed them or pet them. LOL I hope your friends are as warm and loving as mine are.
Yes, it's a romantic holiday, but love is love and I hope you're surrounded by it. And most of all, I hope you love yourself. It's not easy sometimes, but it's totally worth it.
I met with my (former couple's) therapist today and we focused on my background. We talked about my childhood, how my father was a cold, harsh man whose love I could never seem to gain, how him molesting my child caused me to cut ties with my family 28 years ago, how both of my marriages went, and how I was as a child and in my relationships.
It's been 11 days since I left XBF's house with the last of my things. I've had a rough few days - to be expected.
However, since last Wednesday, I've been on a pretty even keel. And suprisingly, I find it somewhat amusing but also slightly concerning, that XBF now has THREE dating profiles on the same platform.
He created one with the zipcode of his mountain house a few days before we officially broke up and updated it with pictures and more information while I was driving back to my house the day I broke up with him.
I have a question.
Do I distance myself from relationships I forged in the area where XBF lives?
XBF moved up there in early 2021. He joined the local cycling group and so did I. I was active with the group, volunteering and eventually was elected VP in 2022 and secretary in 2023. I was also a trail ambassador for the bike trails AND I'm still a board member for the local tourism board until 2026.
I'm feeling a little better today. The last two were rough. Yesterday I had to make a list of all the reasons I needed to walk away.
but it's only been five days.
I had a lot to keep me busy over the weekend. My friends really pulled through for me. Fun Friday night celebrating my BFF's 60th birthday with a bunch of our friends. Saturday was time with my sons, and Sunday was busy with my BFF and watching football.
I was doing really well NOT looking at his stupid dating profile, but my BFF asked to see it Sunday night. I looked and he had whittled it down severely.
I'm back at my house. We're all taking a break (my DD30 and DS33) after getting up very early and driving nearly 2 hours to load up my stuff. He had most of it staged in the garage. That helped a lot.
There were a few items he missed, but I think he was hoping I'd leave them. Nope.
We were done and loaded within 90 minutes. I asked my kids to wait in the car while I went inside to talk to him.
I stuck to my guns and moved into my airbnb on 10/22 with my daughter.
He was looking for an individual therapist without much luck. I found us a couple's therapist, but she couldn't start seeing us until Nov/Dec. We had a first meeting in October and it was just a meet and greet/intro. She said that while we were waiting for couples counseling (btw - the office was near my house so it required him to drive 2 hours to attend), she wanted to see me 1:1 for at least 3 visits. XBF said that was fine with him.