I am writing this in hopes that someone else is either going through this or has successfully gone through this. I'm really wanting to learn how to like my SS but it is so hard.
This is my first time on a stepparent forum but I have no friends or support system who understand the difficulties of being a SM. I have a 9 y/o SS and I’ve been with his dad since he was 3. His dad and i are now married with our own child. SS’s dad has always had partial custody (every other weekend and holidays), so it’s never really felt like there’s much structure when SS is with us... it’s like our house turns into a fun zone for him and my husband is wanting him to not be bored.
So my disengagement is going well....so far. Anyway I wanted to ask advice on bio mom behaviors. For fathers day of 2018 bio mom dropped skids off with a homemade fathers day card (from her, no kids present on card) and said it's tradition.....?? Oldest kid when I started dating DH was not even 2 yet.... how much of a tradition is it really??!
So the first time I had the skids back around for Christmas was something that was giving me bad anxiety for weeks before it happened, BUT I stuck to what I said to DH and just completely backed off from parenting his terrorists. If I saw him struggling I would help him every once in a while out if the kindness of my heart, but the majority of the time I just hung out with my daughter and laughed internally as his kids threw fits all up and down the house and wouldn't listen to a word he said. Now I think he's starting to realize what a pain in the ass his kids are!!!!
I feel the need to remind myself daily that I am a very successful, fun, and helpful person that people like and care about. All of these things are true. I have an amazing job where I get to make good money and work from my home daily. My laundry is always done, we have homecooked meals every night, and I get to work in my pajamas. This is any working mother's dream! So why do I feel anxious and depressed all the time? My oldest son is 16. He is 6'4", athletic and kind. My oldest daughter is 14, smart and loving (with a sprinkle of sass).
I’ll start with a little background info about my life. I have 3 kids DS is 9, DD is 4 and DS is 3. My fiancé has 2 kids SS is 13 and SD is 8. I am a stay at home Mom and he works shift work. My 3 visit their Dad every other weekend and his 2 go to their grandparents house. Their Mother has not been in their life for over a year with a protection order against her, as she tried to abduct the kids from school.
My husband and I have been married for one year. He has a 16 year old daughter with his ex wife who is not high conflict at all but rarely sees her daughter because of her work schedule and traveling so much. My SD was 14 when I met her.. she’s a pretty cool kid and I like hanging out with her since she’s very mature for her age. My husband and I didn’t go on a honeymoon because we eloped last minute in Vegas and considered that our “mini-moon” I’ve been recently hinting about a trip to ourselves but my husband tells me it’s difficult with my SD’s packed schedule.