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Disengagement is Awesome

LosingHerShit's picture

    So the first time I had the skids back around for Christmas was something that was giving me bad anxiety for weeks before it happened, BUT I stuck to what I said to DH and just completely backed off from parenting his terrorists. If I saw him struggling I would help him every once in a while out if the kindness of my heart, but the majority of the time I just hung out with my daughter and laughed internally as his kids threw fits all up and down the house and wouldn't listen to a word he said. Now I think he's starting to realize what a pain in the ass his kids are!!!! He felt sick one morning and gave the kids back early hahahahaha!

       He thinks his son will "grow out" of it, but I've only seen it steadily getting worse. Never seen a kid his age act so outrageous. I still have to listen to it, but I got me some good ear plugs for the visit starting later today. I still dread them coming over, but my anxiety and severe chest pain is gone. Disengagement is the best thing to happen to me in a long time and it's all thanks to this site! A month ago I didn't even know what it was! Thank you to everyone for your advice helping me to get to where I am, hopefully it will stay this way!!!


Chmmy's picture

Good for you. I as well didnt know what disengaging was. I was on vaca a few months ago(without DH & skids) and I googled the words I HATE BEING A STEP MOM. I was desperate and steptalk is what I found. I came home from vaca a new person, disengaged. It did not go unnoticed by DH or the skids. DH was hurt but when he read into it he understood and supports me hoping I will some day change my mind...NOT. SD16 said Im lazy, do nothing and just read or look at my phone every night. I guess she misses the things i used to do. Im not 100% disengaged from the boys 12 & 10 cuz they live in my home and I need to get them off to school & feed them occasionally if DH is working. I do help put DH when I can but no favors for SD16. If anything I go out of my way to make things hard on her.

Chmmy's picture

How old is your daughter? Is she DH daughter also? And the skids? Just curious as I have no bios with DH and my bios are adults and dont live with us so it causes no problems. I cant imagine having a blended family. It adds so much to the dynamic

LosingHerShit's picture

Yes our daughter is together and he had two kids before her, SS is almost 4 and SD is 2, our daughter us just 7 months, got pregnant not long after we started dating.

Siemprematahari's picture

CONGRATULATIONS on your disengagement. It's the best gift you could have ever given yourself. Peace of mind is priceless.