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DH and SS's (19) relationship is basically non existent at this point. (They are long distance but had always been close during the visitation years).
Since Christmas, DH has spoken to him exactly once at which point he asked the kid if he had realized how long it had been since they had spoken. Every communication or attempt at communication comes from DH. The kid laughed it off and for probably the first time ever DH's tone was not as nice or understanding or empathetic or jokey or etc. He straight up told the kid it wasn't funny.
I have been with my husband for 3 years now and we have 5 kids combined. He has 3 kids; 7, 17, and 21 and I have a 16 and 21 yo. The 7, 16, and 17 yo live under our roof and we have our kids full time. We both came out of 16 year marriages to partners that were unfaithful and this relationship seem to be everything we were both looking for. Unfortunately, his BM had a lot of mental issues and that put a huge strain on our relationship but we were able to figure it out.
And I can not wait to hit the road!!!! It has been a stressful month at work and a stressful few days with MIL butting in the middle of DH and SD14. We have been spending the weekend prepping and packing for our week long trip to Florida so I have not had time for any extra dramatics. I'm sure MIL was not happy to learn that her guilt trip/ pressure on DH did not work. She made plans for him to drive 3 hours ( 6 total) with SIL this weekend to see sD14 play volleyball. He declined because the tires on our needed to be rotated this weekend and oil change needed to be done.
Guidance requested.
Some background.
Hey Steptalkers, what do you do to keep the SKIDs from living rent-free in your mind? How do you set yourself free from ruminating on the past, getting irritated with their dumb decisions or holding on to resentment when they mistreat you? Are there tips, activities, ways, activities or things to get them out of there?
I'm pretty disengaged from all things step now. Haven't seen DHs ex in over 3 years maybe 4? .
I didn't go to any of the weddings or wedding showers. This was my choice. Partly because my name was not included on the wedding invites for either granddaughter. Nor was I personally invited to the showers. I received very last minute messages via Facebook regarding them. The first one I already had plans at the time it was held. The second, following the same pattern of a day or two before I chose not to even respond this time to the message.
When BM moved to Fabuloustown and began crafting her new persona and alternate reality, 15 years ago...she was quick to mark her territory by making BFFs with all the twins' friends' moms. Most of them believed the version of DH and me that she presented them with. I remember being completely blanked by the moms in twins' friend group on the day of their middle school walkthrough. I found out yesterday that the meanest mom- the one I still remember staring at me hatefully that day, has since gotten divorced from her kids' dad.
I had a dream about BM and GF last night. They came to pick SS up and things got heated. I basically told them both everything I've been holding in for the last 10 years. These dreams happen maybe a few times a year, and I think it's my subconscious trying to vent all the anger and resentment I feel about my steplife situation. Since I can't really vent it aloud, it vents in my dreams.
Well update. I had vented about my DD dropping out of High School , however, in driving away from High School after dropping out she decided to give the alternative school a try. She was successful and has now completed High School and has applied to first a community college to transfer to a Four Year college once the GPA and some prereqs are completed. My SS has successfully finished a year and half at a job however, he is having trouble with his sister and her boyfriend. Neither of whom are working very much and definitely not supporting themselves. They all live with the mothe
My SS is 9 but lives like a 5 yo. Sits on the couch all day every day. Wont go or do anything without mommy. Luckily, he is only here half the time so I compromise erand let it go. My non negotiable has been our coming into our bed at night. I hate it. We stopped it at the start of Grade 3. He woukd sleep with mummy every night if he could. A week amd a half ago he had a tooth pulled and for some reason he came in at 2am. I told my wife that it was ok as a one off but it isnt becoming a regular thing. The next night he didnt come in but he did the night after that. My wife took h
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