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*** trigger suicide***

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Just got word someone SOs knows (more then likely) committed suicide. Early 30s going through a divorce (we think that was finialized) and still dealing with custody. 

Just awful. His kids are very young 3 and 1. Not trying to cast blame... but the ex wife is HCBM.

SO is pretty upset about this... him and said person have done side jobs together.. SO knows his dad from work... SO really liked him. SO saw him last week at work... I think he is thinking he could have done something... We don't have full details yet but...

Terrible situation all around. 

OT. Just annoying.

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I'm really on my last leg. SS20 has a gf and she's always here. I honestly couldn't even pick her out of crowd because they just stay in his room but she's always here. I'm over it. I'm over all of it.

We are suppose to be getting rid of skids not having more people in the house. 

EDIT: SO if I say anything.. "they are quiteeeee we don't hear themmmmmm..." OK you idiot they are just doing it quietly and the thought is disgusting... she's here till like 2am some nights. 

Months of this and I literally don't even know what she looks like ...half by choice. 

Need advice.

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Guys.. what to do...

SD16 met BM for breakfast this morning... and what did she do.. go on about how she regrets leaving SO.. this is now turning into every time (basically two years now) she sees SD, SS18 doesn't talk to her and who knows about SS20.

We were at SOs great nieces bday party.. (SOs nephew is only two years younger then me) SD met us there for 15 minutes and instantly tells me. 

SD16 officially licensed

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SD16 got her license today and now we are officially done driving skids around! And with that comes.... hopefully.... BM will never be in our driveway EVER AGAIN!! Not that it has been much but it's freeing to think about it. 

SD said BM called her and asked her if she was going to "visit" her now... Guys... I can't take the guilt trips she puts on them anymore... and for those that don't know... she lives 4 miles from us and did NOTHING with her kids for YEARS. 

Saying Goodbye.

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Today I had to say goodbye to the only woman who has ever been there for me. She had known me since I was 16 and since then I went to her for everything... I was her "daughter." 

Throughout my grieving process this week I've come to realize that life is just way to short. I'm not wasting anymore energy on things that don't deserve it.

This woman meant so much to me and is absolutely irreplaceable in my life and to honor her and can't keep down the path I'm going. 

She touched everyone that knew her and is a tragic loss to our world. 

Another hilarious BM line.

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I enjoy writing (blogging) these down so I can laugh on how pathetic it all is..

SD16 and I went to the beach yesterday with a woman who's daughter SD used to be friends with. Long story short.. woman is married to an addict (functioning) narc and her daughter is just as crazy as him and I have no idea how she goes about her days. She is fantastic and I still talk to her. Her daughter basically has no friends and she's trying to get her daughter to hang out with SD. She didn't come yesterday but the woman still came.

Just some random tidbits.

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Well.. we are hoping BM will be at her "new house" for the summer time soon (probably 3/4 hours) away from here.. could be more since we don't know exactly where in the state it is. She works remote and her husband works for the school system. 

Anyways... even though she's not really a "problem" but the emotional turmoil she has created within skids leaves us to deal with it.. 

OT (kind of) GUHCBM in the making??

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It's interesting what step life does to our brains...

SS18s high school GF broke up with him a week after she went to college last year (30 minutes from us so not far) because she started hooking up with some other kid. No judgement SO and I assumed that would happen... I just thought it wasn't going to be that quick.

Anyways.. she BROKE his heart. I think he still might be off because of the breakup BUT he has had a few "GFs" in between.  

SO went to get the mail an hour ago... 

Why was one of SS18s shirts in the mailbox... hmmmm.....

SOs comment about his nephews fiancés family drama.

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Who knows! The stepmom might be here so this is a temporary post but had to get it out. 

All the info we have ever heard... nephew's fiancé mom (sounds like PAS) her from her dad for YEARS. Blamed the dad for divorce etc etc. Come to find out the mom was the cheater.. nephew's fiancé has been on bad terms with her ever since.. it's been about two years I would say.

Sunday was her bridal shower. Mom wasn't there. Stepmom/SOs SIL threw the shower for her.