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My DH got up early this morning, he has to work today, and I got up w/ him and made a really nice surprise breakfast, and gave him the cards from me, and our little one. He really loved it. Now he took the cell phone to work with him ~in case skids call~, if they don't, I know he will be hurt. They are both teens, old enough to do this themselves. I can't really justify blaming BM for it all if they don't call....believe me , if they really want to do something , they do it, especially SS.
When BF went to pick up SS, BM explained to him that SS wouldn't be bringing his cell with him because her and SS's cellphones were "having problems." That's BM-speak for "they've been shut off".
SS11 had his 5th grade Farewell this week. 5th graders were only given 2 tickets to this event. So FH, SS11 and(amazingly)BM tried to get me a ticket and were denied. FH even called the PTO to try and get me a ticket. In the end FH and BM attended with SS11.
I'm mad. I take SS11 to basketball games and scouts, I help with school fundraisers and SS11's homework and this is the thanks I get? It totally sucks.
I feel like writing to the PTO (they sponsor the Farewell). But I don't know if I have a valid point. So...
Dear Dad, Well Father's Day is here again, and as always, I think of you today, and hope you are well. I wish I could see you, but I know in your little world , that is not possible. It's to bad Father's Day is not on a week day, where I can "sneak" over to your work and see you for a few minutes, like last time I saw you. I know your wife does not allow you to love anyone els but her, but I still love you, even after all you have done. I know the cancer is making you sicker, and it's getting harder to work, and function.
So my sk's are here for the month of June for their summer visitation. I hate it. I hate coming home knowing their grimly little selves have been in my house and touching my stuff. Only 2 more weeks though. It can not get here fast enough. DH and sk's do not even spend any time together. He works overnight and sleeps during the day and all they do in stay in their rooms. So why even come over here. DH refuses to assign them any chores to do while they are here. So, I stopped cleaning the kitchen or doing the floors.
I feel like such a child. The SK's have been home since yesterday and there is one in particualar that I can't even look in the face or acknowledge.
I'm supposed to be the adult! Anyone else ever have these feelings? How did you get over it?
Oedipal Complex
From N.S. Gill,
ALL of you deserve a (((hug))) for being so strong.
I think we all need a reminder that we can't expect ourselves to be perfect in these most imperfect situations, we are human even before (step)moms.
Along the way I have realized you grow as a step parent the same as you do as a parent- no handbooks or guidelines just stumbling in the dark hoping for a light.
From what I have read here from sm that have been there done that the guilt parenting and princess complex doesn't stop unless the sd has some sort of foundation of morals and self awareness. What if you can tell right away that this kid isn't going to change because they are happy with being sub par? I don't have the bm in the sense that most others here do. Instead she is DH's half sister who tries to parent her daughter over the phone and through gifts in the mail.
We have the skids this weekend. Due to my dh usually being away on Father's Day (thanks Military) this will be the first time since I have been w/him that he will have them.
I have tossed around a lot of ideas in my head, but I guess I wanted to hear what other people plan, see if I can get better ideas!
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