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I think BM is out of money, and SS is still unkempt

Nymh's picture

When BF went to pick up SS, BM explained to him that SS wouldn't be bringing his cell with him because her and SS's cellphones were "having problems." That's BM-speak for "they've been shut off".

As always, SS's clothes smell old and musty. I don't know why this is, but every time he comes, every article of his clothing smells like it's been packed up in a box in a wet basement for months. I think this is part of why he keeps a cough all the time. I don't know how often she washes his clothes, but I'm washing them tonight after SS goes to bed. I know that if she finds out I washed his clothes, she'll go ballistic...but I'm just so sick of the poor kid smelling like he just pulled his clothes out of storage.

Yesterday, when we got him, BF noticed that SS's hair smelled really bad. He asked SS when the last time he washed his hair was, he said he couldn't remember, but not in the past few days. Then he asked when the last time he brushed his teeth was. Again, not in the last few days but he couldn't remember how long it had been.

*sigh*

Comments

OldTimer's picture

I remember similar 'issues' with laundry too. Hang in there. You're a great mom.

Wink Retired (StepMom)

“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”

smurfy1smile's picture

There is no reason you can't wash the kids clothes. Gee does BM expect you to leave dirty clothes around and not wash them. My BS16's friends leave clothes here from time to time and if they are near or in the laundry basket it gets washed.

Hang in there. BF should say something to BM about the kid being unwashed, there is no excuse for no bathing.

Nymh's picture

She does not want us to wash his clothes. She would rather us send them back home to her dirty. It's another way she exerts her control. We never know if they've been washed from one visit to the next or just shoved back in his duffel bag.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Most Evil's picture

That sounds smelly and uncomfortable for SS, to not even be clean or have clean clothes! Does this qualify as some kind of abusive behavior towards him? It makes me very sad just to even hear this!! Does anyone else, at the school etc., think he is being neglected?

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

B's picture

Sounds familiar. My SD's BM would get angry if we washed SD's clothes that she came over in before sending her home. She felt that we were trying to hide something from her by washing the clothing. Never made sense to me... But I decided to abide by that, and whenever SD would have an accident, I'd put the clothes in a plastic bag and send it home. Wink
I feel so bad for your SS Nymh. She's not being a 'mother' to him at all.