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Interesting find on SS's medical records!

Nymh's picture

So we finally got SS's records from his eye doctor, and it turns out he has an eye disease that BF knew nothing about! I have worked in ophthalmology for 5 years - I'm actually a surgery coordinator for a prominent eye surgeon. BM wants us [read: ME] to have no knowledge of SS's medical history or conditions except doing what she tells us to do when it comes to treating him, and sticking to the "limitations" that SHE places on SS due to his "conditions" though we have been given no medical PROOF that these limitations actually exist and she refuses to communicate with BF on when and where SS goes to the doctor. Well, when we heard that SS was prescribed glasses to wear because of an eye condition he has had since birth (we were given no details, just that he was supposed to wear them "most of the time"), and he kept conveniently "forgetting" his glasses at home, we decided to get his ophthalmologic records so that I could see what was going on, how important it really was for him to wear the glasses, and have my facility make a pair for SS that he can wear while he is at our house since his mother is keeping his at home on purpose.

Well I was suprised to find out that SS has cataracts! He's 11 years old! He's had them for about two years, and BF knew NOTHING about it. I can not imagine that the eye doctor wouldn't have told BM about this, because it is VERY rare for a child so young to have cataracts. It's not life-threatening or anything but I was just so amazed that SS would have a condition like this and BM would purposefully keep this information from BF! I get so frustrated... she is so threatened by me, she knows how much experience I have in this field and she is keeping us in the dark about SS's eye conditions on purpose to maintain her control and keep me "in my place". When she finds out that BF got the records she will be furious! Though she has no right to be. I am still more upset that she is purposefully keeping SS's glasses from us to illustrate her power over the situation (which the records clearly state that the glasses should be worn FULL TIME to prevent loss of vision in SS's bad eye), which will have permanent ill-effects on his vision...but this is ridiculous!


sweetthing's picture

OMG what a bitch. To risk her own son's eye sight because of how she feels about you. I know over the years this fruit cake has pulled a lot of shit on you guys but this totally takes the cake.

Can he have surgery to improve the cateracts?

Nymh's picture

Yes, he can, but they will probably wait until he has lost more of his vision from them. They are bad enough to be affecting his vision now, but not bad enough to do surgery yet from what I saw on his records. With him being a child, he will probably have to have surgery again later in life after he is done growing, because as his eyes grow, they will continue to change and the implants that they use for the surgery when he is still a child will be the wrong power for him to see clearly when he is an adult.

The funny thing is, the surgeon that I work for is a CATARACT SURGEON and one of the best in the country. BM knows that which is probably exactly why she is witholding this information. UGH

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Stick's picture

Nymh - Don't take ANY SH*T from that idiot.

IF she even DARES to tell you or give you guys a hard time about getting SS's medical records, please tell your DH to tell BM to go F*ck herself. And that he will in turn file a protective order against her or some legal order because she is endangering her son. Tell her to suck on that. And that you guys had to go DIGGING to get info that should have been very easily available, and that a judge probably would think bad about her!!!

And if I were you at this point, I'd go to every doctor SS has and put in a request for reports for DH.

She's lower than low.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Nymh's picture

He intends to tell her exactly that. I suggested getting all of his medical records because there is no telling what else she has not told us, or what, if anything, that she actually does tell us is true. I think that she does a lot of self-diagnosis on SS because one time that she claimed he had seen the doctor and been diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection, the prescription of antibiotics that she sent with him had expired the year before. There's no telling how much she has messed with this poor kid's health thinking that she knows everything...

BF said that he wants to bring this up in court when they go this week (hopefully it won't be continued AGAIN - they've been putting this off for two years now). He wants to tell the court that she is going against the court ordered parenting plan which states that he is to be made aware of all doctor's appointments in a timely manner and be provided with a report of the findings including a bill if any fees are incurred within 10 days of the appointment. She has yet to ever do this except when she schedules an appointment on what is supposed to be BF's time with SS, then only tells him that SS has an appointment but refuses to tell him who it is with, when or where it is.

He said that he wants to wait until he hears what the court has to say before requesting these records on his own. I told him that he could request them now, and still bring it up in court, since he had to go out of his way to hunt down the information and she is still violating the court order by not providing it to him like she is supposed to. But SS is his son and he will do it his way.

I am sure that she will look horrible in court if BF does get to bring it up...and she will probably be infuriated that he did manage to get these records which will only make her look worse. If I know her at all, I am sure she will make up some poor-me-I'm-a-victim excuse about how she is afraid for her son's life and didn't want BF to have the records for fear that he would use them against her or some stupid crap like that.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

LotusFlower's picture

Awwww...Nymh...I know how u feel on this too....BM tried to tell DH that 9yr old SD got her period when she actually had a severe UTI...she did everything in her power to keep DH from any medical info....she also smoked around her ashmatic children, etc....its sooo f'n sad that a mother would do this to her children, but unfortunately, quite typical with this type of finally admitted that it was common to wear the same underwear for a week when they lived with BM... :barf: .....all the while, all we ever heard was what a great Mom she what's right for yur SS, Nymh...and F her....sorry to be so harsh, but its abuse...document EVERYTHING!!!

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....