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classyNJ's Blog

Case closed

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We received the letter from DYFS stating they are closing the case and that there will be no therapy required from either us or SS16.

SS20 was home when DH opened it.  He said to me "well thats good, right'?  um no hon, see it stays there for 3  years and my job requires checks every year so they can decide to question me about the record for 3 years.

And no - what makes it ok for a kid to try to ruin his fathers reputation, carreer, life and be labled as a child abuser to get what he wants??  

4 Years and 12 Months

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is the length of time I have been a member of Steptalk.  Wow  5 years.  The first two years went fast the last 3 have been filled with non wanted drama and learning that some kids are just horrible.  Good parenting or not.

Thank you all for being here for all of us.

Do I get a chip or pin or something?  LOL


Our Christmas

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Was nice.

SS20 is home from college and he is just a pleasure to be around.  Such a sweet young man and thoughtful.

My mother, sister and SIL came for dinner and to exchange presents.  SS16 was also there.

I have one of those faces

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that you can tell what I'm thinking complete with the eye roll that I have no control over.

Last night DH and I were discussing SS20 Christmas gifts as he only asked for one thing and we are giving him a check.  He then asks since we are going to onto the website to order what do we order SS16?

I tried, I really did and thought I got away with it by just saying - I don't know just nothing matching.  He says, "whatever, Ill just stop saying his name.  I wish I had a picture of your face every time I do".

How do you deal

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with still being so angry at step-kid to the point you don't want to look at them or talk to them?

We have a family dinner tonight (public place) and there will be 8 of us.  SS16 will be there and I just don't want to even engage!  Is that horrible of me??  

We never got and apology and never will, but I am not DH and SS16 is not my kid so I don't feel I have to even acknowledge him.

So mature, I know!


Maybe I'm just closed minded but..

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DH visited with SS20 this weekend.  They discussed SS16 and why all of a sudden within 12 hours he went from not wanting to even see any of his other family to getting in trouble and now wanting to go live with DBDB again.

Well it seems they have both come up with the fact that SS16 is bipolar.  I call BS!!!  I have seen this kid in action both infront of adults and when he isn't with adults.  He is an actor at best.  He has told Dfys, us and therapists alike that he will tell them what they want to hear just to end the questionning.

Update to SS16 - DFS

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When I pulled in the driveway last night, DH was standing outside with a strange woman.  Family Services at our door!

Seems when the guidance counselor and the athletic department director pulled SS16 in to talk to him about his failing grade and his standing on the baseball team he broke down in hysterics.  Why? He told them it was because his phone service was suspended!

Well I guess they did not buy that and called DFS.  She talked to all three of us.  When she talked to SS16.  Here is that conversation:

DFS:  SS16 do you feel safe here?

SS16: yes

SS16 back at it!

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SS16 is exempt from most PE because he is still in PT from surgery.  He was to be participating when he could and completing packets the teacher gave him.

When DH was checking his grades he noticed SS16 had a 51.  Wow from the starting pitcher of the baseball team this is pretty sad.  SS16 told him it was because the PE teacher did not have time to grade the packets yet.  ohhh ok.  DH bought it hook line and sinker.  I say nothing, I'm out of this one kids.

Why doesn't she care?

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Is what SS15 asked me after he woke up from surgery.  And AGAIN I start crying with anger and frustration.

He said he felt obligated to tell DBDB that he was having elbow surgery and had called her two day prior.  She didn't ask him anything but "how long have you known?"  She doesnt know anything about what was done, where or what time.

When he woke up he asked his brother if he had texted DBDB and SS20 said no I was waiting until you woke up and gave me the word.  SS15 said - don't bother.  She doesn't care. Why doesn't she care?