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First time blogging, ever!!! I need advice.

katinadish's picture

Well I have custody of my 11 year old step daughter since she was 3 and it is getting very difficult. It seems the only anger the kid has is for me. She has a mother she rarely sees and whom never follows up on promises. She goes weeks without seeing her mom and I could go on and on and on. I ask her to make her bed and she is mad all night. She hates me. What am I doing wrong?

Without starting WWIII can I ask a question...

Stick's picture

Why is that some of us automatically assume THE WORST in motivations, behavior, etc. of husbands, children, and ex-wives...

and some of us automatically assume the best?

I think that's our biggest difference of opinion on here.

You see people post a situation... and the differences come when some posters write back saying that the husband is being manipulative, taking advantage, etc etc... and the other posters are saying well, he might be going through this... or he might be afraid of this....

i figured it all out~

thornykitty's picture

i am convinced the biggest reason us stepparents get bad wraps are because the bio parents WE married generally dump a great deal of the child-rearing on us (especially us stepMOMs). how could we NOT get blamed when crap goes down, or when these "little angels" go off. We are getting the blame because we are trying to slide in and act like what we think a parent should be. then the bio parent gets lazy and hands most of the responsibility to us...anyone hear me on this??

not affectionate enough eh?

thornykitty's picture

I never had any kids of my own and come from a non-affectionate family.been with my hubby for 10 years and have been the only "real" mother figure he has had since his mom is a deadbeat. well, now the 14 year old adhd brat has all these clingy issues and is cutting himself and my husband blames me for not being physically affectionate i have always told him i love him, shown it in many other ways and let him call me mom. i have treated him as if he were my own child. but, i am not a hugger and he has always been so clingy it makes me uncomfortable.

Oh look! A train wreck! Holloween incident aftermath.

smirked's picture

I am a bit confused, not sure of the real motive behind Moosecow's actions. She calls last night, I see the caller ID is displaying Moosecow's #. I toss the phone to DH, he's too slow to answer, I then do the obvious next move & whip out my cell pass it to him like a hot potatoe counting to three. Suprise! The phone rings! DH talks to her. The convo takes a turn for the worse & DH says "You created this monster, you deal with it."

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