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I managed to go see SS10 with OH last night - turns out SS wanted a cuddly toy from ours, so OH swung by & we went up together. I'd asked OH to ask SS10 & BM if they wanted me to visit, and they suggested that time as BM wanted a couple of hours to go home, shower, eat etc.
I'm looking for some advice on what to do with my BS11. Since we have moved 1100 miles away from my parents, he had seemed to finally grow up a little bit and started acting his age. Well, then SD15 moved in with us in August, due to her step-father(SF) molesting her for several years and finally having the courage to tell us on her visit here with us in July. At first everything seemed to be going pretty good between SD15 & BS11. I mean they have their normal sibling fights, but for the most part they get along great. Well, BS11 was doing very well in school until SD15 moved in.
I've seen a lot of posts before about issues whether or not to have a sick SK come for visitation. Here's my current dilemma and I'm not sure what to do. SS12 is CONSTANTLY sick. Every visitation starting Sept. he's been sick and has come for visitation. This has caused havoc on everyone here. At least one of us has gotten sick after every single visit. My ExBFD, who lives with me now, is starting college in 2 weeks and she really can't keep getting sick and possibly missing school. She has gotten sick twice now from 2 different visits.
I'm so nervous. DH has court tomorrow to finalize the custody order. It's not that I'm worried so much that his having sole custody of the skids will change, it's some of the other things we want that are thrown in I'm worried about.
I won't go into details about all of them, but the big one is having BM sign away nearly $30k in child support arrears.
Now hold on a minute, I know that sounds crazy at first, but those arrears aren't justified.
I'll break it down:
It has been a quiet week. No nastiness from BM this week (yet). After two weeks of nastigrams, headaches, ugliness, it is nice. Two weeks ago got SD16's first report card. Not great, but passing. Of course, EVERY bad grade, is DH fault!!!
DH doesn't get SD enough tutoring (she goes 3-4x week right now for various classes), DH doesn't make SD study, SD has terrible study habits thanks to DH, DH makes terrible judgement call when SD cut self, DH lies, DH is brainwashing SD, etc, etc, etc....What a load of crock
I must be the biggest bitch!! My SD(8) has lice for the second time in a 4mth period. She apparently asked her BM to check her head last Wed and her BM said," no, theres no way you can lice again", so after begging her BM several times, she finally checked and SUPRISE!!!! LICE!!! So last Wed I stayed home from work cleaning the entire house, washing her bed sheets, putting any brushes, hairtyes, etc away in a seal tight bag like a good little housewife does only to find myself itching a couple days later! Last night I had my DH check my head and SUPRISE again!!! LICE!!!
And now the poor little girl is dead.
It's sad.
It's one of those times that I have to say that God has a punishment in mind for these people... and that someday they will have to face their own actions...
dh called to talk to ss this morning and had to remind bm that they have specific times they are allowed to call. in the evening its 7pm to 730pm. if the parent not with ss does not call at this time they lose their chance to talk to ss, unless already previously arranged because parent with ss would not be able to answer during mandated time. welllllllll, big freaking surprise bm has called EVERY day out side of that time! even when she has ss, she has ss call dh before 7pm. So after several days of dip shit just not being able to get it, dh reminds her....lets see how this goes.
DH and I have a joint bank account, and for some reason when I was over there today I felt the need to open my own account. DH and I were talking last night about how I'm so unhappy all the time when SD7 is home, so I thought he'd bring up changing her visitation again to one week with us and one week with BM. He had mentioned this once before but didn't talk to BM about it. I thought after me saying I'm never happy anymore DH might take action. I don't know, I guess I'm just preparing myself in case a separation is in our future.
Bm did not get ss11 anything for his birthday. she did not even see him, she did call him and talk to him for about two minutes. And it has been about a week since his birthday and she has still not got him ANYTHING. She actually borrowed some of his birthday money for gas. UGH.