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Im really wondering what is a step mothers/ fathers position in their skids life? To just helping the father to treating them like your own . Anyone got any advise for me ? I know im Not giving much detail but any advise would help . From good to bad and everything in between. What helped y'all navigate being a step parent and what helped you make it to the end of what seems like a dark never ending tunnel to the light. Thank you
SECOND UPDATE: he said the situation between him and mini wife will "resolve itself" when she leaves for college. Wellll, he filed for divorce 6 weeks after she left! And he recently admitted to me that he never wanted me or my daughter to accompany him and his daughter on their vacation this last summer because his exact words, "things are just more fun when y'all aren't around" . I feel so stupid for trying to reason with him all these years. I knew there was something wrong. I don't understand why he even married me.
Why is the stepchild always the focus, the favorite, the obsession, and put on a pedestal? Even when there is an “ours” baby or child involved?
I don’t understand it so maybe someone can explain it to me if you’re experiencing the same thing.
In my situation in particular, SS4 has autism and behavior issues. Our “ours” baby boy is 13 months old. It’s ALWAYS “SS this and SS that” or DH is always saying “Me and SS are doing this” or “Me and SS are going here” or “Me and SS had this” when SS4 is here.
My MIL is the same way.
SS26 has to work fathers day and will make up a dinner later.
I asked DH if him and SS21 STB22 were doing anything. He said not that he knew of.
ooohhh ok - I normally did all the planning because his ex never acknowledged DH as anything let alone their father. So I sent a text to SS21:
Classy: - hey sunshine, I know SS26 has work Sunday, but do you have any plans for your dad for fathers day?
SS21: - no, Im free all day.
OMG! I spit my water on my phone.
I'm at work, he just says that he is packing his stuff and will leave me.
He is my first man, and my partner for 10 yeras.
I'll go home, if he really packed and left me, i cant live anymore.
I will take all the medicines in the fridge and sleep.
Now in the past I would have probably would not have cared of SD was coming on her weekend with DH . But since all the drama we went through and her not coming for months and months at a time , DH is finally pushing for stability ( he should have been pushing for his weekend all along ) he has a serious talk with SD14 and told her if it's his weekend she needs to be with him period . SD14 expressed that she has been wanting to come and see her siblings . Her last visit went so well and I thought we were moving forward to becoming more close . I actually enjoyed her company .
Is it normal to not feel any connection with step kids? I am living with my boyfriend and two kids (19 YOF with Autism and 14 YOF). Both kids have behavioral, social and emotional issues. I do not feel any connection and am struggling to be comfortable around them and often find myself getting annoyed at their presence. (not proud to say that but they are driving me nuts)
Hi,
Just an update to my prior post. I made a special trip to the cell phone store this weekend to cancel our family plan and get a 2 line account so we could save some money. SD20 was informed 30 days ago by DH that this would be happening, and that she needed to get her own cell account. So far, she has not requested a transfer code to do this and is still on our plan.
A miracle has happend and both Skids appear to be set to graduate from HS this week. BM filed some (incomplete) legal paperwork to continue CS payments and force DH to pay for undisclosed college costs, but she has not responded to DH's lawyer's requests for all of her financial documents (and information on what actual colleges Skids plan to go to).
I dont even know if this is worthwhile posting about. I went back in time to get a little info, because it seems like this issue has been "floating around" for several years. I went back into the archives as far as 2012! But, because I want to be prepared and being prepared is strategizing, Ive been reading, on here and the federal financial aide sites.
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