How do I tell my partner I don't want his disruptive son who has ADHD to come on my birthday day out as I want it to just be the two of us and I don't want anything to go wrong as when his son is with us he will create a scene but screaming at his dad that he wishes his dad was dead and that he is a rubbish dad which obviously embarrasses my partner greatly.

My FH and I have been living together for just under a year (he moved into my house).  My BS7 & BS9 live with me except every other weekend where they have visitation with their BF.  My SD12 & SS10 are here every weekend as per their custody arrangement.  In the beginning things were so bad that he'd bully my kids (he's litterally twice their size), he would destroy stuff in my house, flat out disrespect me, etc.  A few months in after he moved in with me I finally stood my ground and told FH that the choice was his, he either corrected the behavior or whenever his kids were at the

Hi I’m new here so I’m not really sure exactly how this all works haha. All I know for sure is I need to vent and feel like I’m not alone BIG TIME. Some background — I’m 21 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend (24) for 2.5 years. He has a son who is turning 7 in a few days. His son’s mother is not in the picture so I’m pretty much the only mother he’s known. His son has an obvious, but undiagnosed, learning and behavioral disabilities as well as obvious, but also undiagnosed, ADHD. They both live with me and my family. 

I thought about not posting this but recently it has been quite unbearable. 

After the crazy BM episode (spoiler alert: she didn’t even bother to see her son a bit, surprise!) we have been struggling with SS11’s behavior. Even the school work and homework both have been really light. 

Again SS11 is high functioning ASD + ADHD. I get that most of the time he really didn’t intend to offend, but god, when do you really draw a line when you have been teaching the same thing over and over and over and this human being just seemingly can’t learn? 

I have been "raising" my SS8 and SD5 since they were 4 and 1. We have a rather unique situation as their BM is my wife. She married the kids BF because that was the "right thing to do" but knew for years she was a lesbian. We fell fast into love, moving in together and she insisted she wanted me to help raise the kids as if they were mine. To say the last few years have been challenging would be an understatement. Fortunately, she and I are a great team. That is the blessing and curse.

For the past three weeks or so my DH and I have been fighting with SS over his math homework. My SS11 is High-function Autistic, and I understand that anything involving changing can be challenging to him. BUT, GOD, a wrong answer in math is a wrong answer, no arguing is going to make it right. My DH and I have both exhausted ourselves so much to a point my DH even said that he was seriously considering sending the son to his mom forever. (SS lives wtih us 100% of the time, last year he only spent time with his mom less than a month in total)