After all the fight my partner had with his sister, and he had with me also, he took his messy princess to BM's home and he is looking after her when BM is at work, which is all day from 10 Am until midnight. He is not spending any minute for me, he is not coming home, he took my car and he is watching her princess who is not even close to be a princess 24/7. All i asked from him was find a job and go to work. Or ask BM to ask her mom to watch that girl a few days a week, or teach her to stay home a few hours, so we can spend a few hours alone. But nope, what he chose?
I dont want to live...
So I am sick for a few days now, really pain in stomach and feel sick. Cant eat and I work from 8 am until 1 am today. I couldn't rest at home because Sd was there all the time and I just locked the door of bedroom to not hear her voice playing GTA with her friend. Today DH sister called me and she asked why is your voice not good I told her I'm not good she said its stress and it's all about the stress my brother gives you. Did he start the job I said no. Did she left SD at home to she can learn to live there and wait for SD a few hours, I said no.
Just woke up with pain in stomache. Came to work. I know it's stress. I just can't take this much stress anymore. Its been maybe 2 or 3 weeks i'm not even alone at my own home. Yesterday i way lying down after work, and dh was cleaning, door ring and sd and her f.. friend came inside. I was resting at my own damn home which i pay for. I woke up with their loud voices and i felt very disturbed. Dh was kind of sorry but no he is not sorry at all. he said if you want to rest go to our room. I went to the room closed the door and dint come our even for toilet.
So after all talking with you and with DH sisters, i told him we need to talk and he sais ok. His sister also talked to him a few days ago, so he knew what was this about. SD is coming to our town today again. So we talked, i told him you dont have to be angry or shout, we will talk like human! He said ok, and honestly he was very calm, and he listened to me. So i told him that i'm sorry but i cant do it like this anymore, i cant have SD in our home 7/24 every day. I had this enough for a few years and she is a big girl now, she has a mom too and we have to find a solution.
I just have a question, can you please help.
Can't 11 year old girl stay at home alone after school until her mom is back?
The situation is her mother works until 23:00 o'clock.
I work until 17:00 and her father doesn't work. I can't stand SD everyday. I just can't anymore, i did thgis for a few years but not anymore, she is a young big girl now, physically bigger and fatter than me! I don't want her at my home. I'm sorry but i'm honest. I can welcome her 2 nights a week. Is it posiible to put a camera in their home so DH can watch her if she's ok at home?
Its 4 in the morning and I can't stop crying. I feel so alone.
Why should my life be just about Sd? Why i should just work at work, and then work at home, and stand 4 days a week SD in my home? i really don't understand. She is not my kid.I didn't marry her. I didn't choose her. I don't want her all the time. Why should everything be about her? I have lack of love, laugh, fun and many other things in my life. I see the other couples hand in hand without anyone to disturb them 24/7 and i feel my life is done. I need love, i need somnmeone to call me my love, how my husband calls her daughter.
Hope you are all good.
I just wanted to updat eyou about my situation.
Actually i can say there is no change! DH still not working, he didnt even work 1 day in this season.
The only positive thing is SD moved to the other part of the city with her mom. So we have at least half an hour istance at the moment.
I'm going to the beach. I will stay there all night. I just want to shout there and no one hear me. Why God why? I will not answer phone I will not tell him where am I. I let him to be in love with her daughter and enjoy every moment while I'm dying slowly inside. I don't want to see anyone. Just waiting to get dark so I can go there. I just want to cry with sea. I'm so lonely maybe sea listens to me maybe not.