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I'm going to the beach. I will stay there all night. I just want to shout there and no one hear me. Why God why? I will not answer phone I will not tell him where am I. I let him to be in love with her daughter and enjoy every moment while I'm dying slowly inside. I don't want to see anyone. Just waiting to get dark so I can go there. I just want to cry with sea. I'm so lonely maybe sea listens to me maybe not. 

Please help me

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Can you believe that he just sent me a text to say lets talk tomorrow, so we can separate. 

Is it him to separate from me?! haha that's a joke! 

He a** instead of solving the issues with Sd 7/24 and starts to work like a man he wants a separation from me?!

What should i tell him girls? I'm angry, sad, upset at the same time, dont know what to do or what to say....

I need advice?

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Can you please help me with this. Thanks. 

When i get home from work i hate when sd is there until her moms come back from work and dh leaves her to her house. 

Do you think is it better if dh watch her in exs home until she comes home? OR They stay here at us until bm comes get her?

How did i get here?

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How did i get in to this situation? If some one asked me 10 years ago that how do you see yourself in 10 years? I would say i will finish my master in university, maybe starts a phd like my family memebers. I will have a good job, i will own a cat and a dog. I would marry a nice man who really loves me and maybe have 1 kid. 

But now i just have the cat and dog in my life! Which i can not even enjoy my time with them, because all the time i'm angry, or deppressed or upset or crying. 

Tears in my Eyes...

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I am ready to cry any minute, i come to work with tears in my eyes, i go back cry at home huggin my cat and dog. I walk with dog, my tears come down. I'm getting in to a real depression. I don't want to do anything. I feel so alone, my clloeague hugged me at work i was about to cry and she was like what did i do wrong? I am close to explosion any minute... 

My feeling to kids

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There is something else which is really annoying me. I used to love children and animals. I was in love with kids. And i aşways wanted a daughter. It's a few years now, my feelings have been changed. I don't want to say that, but i think now i hate children. Please dont get me wrong, i'm not a bad person, but i think children ruin people's life, i have no feeling to them anymore. I used to play with them and give them hugs, now when i see one i am really cold against them, i have no feeling anymore... why i became like this? This is not me. I was a kind nice girl. I've changed.

My salary for BM?

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I'm getting crazy and don't know what to do. Dh goes to the market every day, spend money and when I come home I see he just bought a cola! I asked what did you get today and he says some stuff? So where is the bloody stuff? Why I cant see any of those in the fridge? He thinks I'm stupid? He do shopping for bms house not ours. With my salary. He is not working and I have to pay for our home and now for that bitches home too? Why the hell do I have to pay for that bitch and her daughters food? Cant I spend my money for myself? I dont know how to deal with this man and ex family anymore.