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Update: cancelled SD20 cell phone line

Shieldmaiden's picture


 Just an update to my prior post. I made a special trip to the cell phone store this weekend to cancel our family plan and get a 2 line account so we could save some money. SD20 was informed 30 days ago by DH that this would be happening, and that she needed to get her own cell account. So far, she has not requested a transfer code to do this and is still on our plan.

I couldn't avoid telling DH (I didn't want to remind him as it he gets overly stressed about anything having to do with this kid, due to him thinking she is so mentally fragile.) Well, he happened to take the day off so he asked where I was going and I told him.  As soon as I told him, he started stressing out, saying he had to remind her. I told him he doesn't owe her anything, as he already told her a month ago. He still called her and of course, she went "What!?"

So apparently she forgot that he told her, Big surprise. She's lucky that this doesn't take effect for 10 days from now. (Not my choice, it was the cell company's policy.) So now he is promising to help her figure out how to transfer her phone and number over to her own account.

 I didn't tell him that the transfer code is online, and easily locatable, so hopefully I'll be kept in the loop when they figure out they need that in order to keep the phone she has. I don't mind if she keeps her phone, but I want her to be an adult and get this handled herself. I told DH this, that he is treating her as if she will break if he gives her bad news, and that is not fair to her. She is an adult and he should treat her as such. 

I had to make a choice - unlock the phone and hope she transfers it before my new billing cycle begins - in which case I am responsible for additional charges if she "forgets." NOPE. I chose to keep it locked and she can call me or her dad to get it unlocked before the cutoff date. If she doesn't, she won't be able to keep her phone or her number. Too bad, so sad. Life is hard. On the plus side, I am saving $100 per month now on my bill. Yay!


JRI's picture

Yeah, DH86 believes SD62 is too mentally fragile to handle any bad news.  His idea of 'bad news' is any realistic fact that affects her.  Silly me, I believe handling difficult things makes people stronger, I must be crazy.  

Perhaps he's right cuz when I try to talk to SD about anything unpleasant, she often starts crying.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Yep, those SD's sure know how to apply the crocodile tears when reality sets in. Then you hear them whining "Daddeee. Life is soooo Haaaard!!!"  

Baby steps, DH. Baby steps! She can do it! Ha ha.

Rags's picture

Even the Skidults... seem to always remain .... Baby Steps.

For most people, baby steps at least denote progress. In the SParent world, Baby Steps often are never to grow up, life long failed family leeches that never fully launch.

AgedOut's picture

He's trained her to be "too mentally fragile to handle any bad news" by never teaching her how to deal or cope w/ it. 


Sadly, she'll never learn now Sad

JRI's picture

My SD62 is certainly strong enough to grab anything anybody offers her, or actually, anything lying there if nobody is standing over it.  She is also mentally strong enough to think up elaborate lies to serve her purposes.

Yesterdays's picture

My husband gets all worked up about stuff like this too. 

After the big incident with my stepson I removed both of his kids from my Spotify plan. They hadn't hardly ever texted their dad EVER but immediately they blasted him with texts why they noticed it was cancelled. He then lied to avoid any hard feelings.... 

I do not regret cancelling it..

How are things going with her other than that? 

Shieldmaiden's picture

Yes, My Netflix is what they always want the password to when they were at their moms, because she didn't have it. She could afford Disney+ and all that other stuff, but no, not Netflix. LOL.

I don't regret this. I've been trying to do this for a year now. I finally just said "I'm doing this and you need to tell her."

SD20 is living at her moms. She doesn't have a drivers license and works 2 days a week, part time. Her sisters drive her to work and pick her up. She spends the rest of her days playing video games and doing arts and crafts. Her mom charges her $200 a month for rent. She recently bought herself a $1000+ gaming computer. Pretty sure she has no savings.

She sees a therapist but he doesn't seem to be able to diagnose her correctly, or maybe she just refuses all medication, as she "doesn't want to take pills." She is likely manic bipolar, as it runs in her family. My DH knows I won't tolerate her moving in with us, ever. When he calls to ask her how she is doing, she says things like "Did you know I was a neglected child? Did you care AT ALL about me? Well, It's not my fault because I'm neurodivergent."

Yup. She is a true joy to be around. (NOT). She is going to school to study random things that she wants to learn about but is adamant that her parents, who pay for the classes,  know she isn't working towards a degree. She also thinks people are poisoning her food with illicit drugs, so she has lost some weight.

Yesterdays's picture

The eternal victim. She sounds very lazy and at a certain point people become adults and are supposed to be moving toward becoming independent. It sounds like she needs to start thinking about the future 

My step son is almost 19 and works part time at a cafe (28 hours from what I heard) and he also pays $200 or something like that for rent to his mom. It boggles my mind how these kids will ever grow up and be able to support themself one day 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

We kept YSDthen19's cell phone on for a year after she ran off. It was DH's hope that if/when she found herself in trouble, she'd always be able to contact us.

She never called. However, she did tell people her dad was dead, that he'd passed from brain cancer. Another one of her epic lies.

After a year, we cut off her cell phone and cancelled her health insurance.

Step life has taught me not to set myself on fire for people who wouldn't even urinate on me to put it out. Being a young adult 18-22 is supposed to be about gaining independence, making mistakes, and learning from them. Let's hope your DH gives his daughter the space to learn some of those important life lessons she's hiding from.

notarelative's picture

she did tell people her dad was dead, that he'd passed from brain cancer. 

Crazy does what crazy does. DH's oldest sister had a fight with his ex wife and never spoke to him or her again. Since SIL was mad at the deceased ex wife, she never spoke to me either. 
One day DH ran into a childhood friend whom he had not seen in years. Childhood friend, who was back visiting family, said he had run into the sister earlier, and while speaking to her asked about DH. Sister said she didn't have a brother. Crazy does what crazy does. So a nondead father that died of brain Cranmer dies not surprise me.

Cover1W's picture


I would have done exactly the same thing. I have done similar things "If this thing is not done by X date, I will take care of it. I will give you one reminder X days/weeks before and that's all." And I follow through.



AlmostGone834's picture

Ugh Little Idiot (SD24) is still on our phone plan (and we are paying for her line). DH keeps saying when she has her "career" then she can pay for it herself, but we all know how well that's going... well everybody except DH.

Yesterdays's picture

Head in the sand for some of these folks. It will be interesting to see if my SS almost 19 ends up going to college or something after a gap year off school. My husband considers his working 28 hours per week a "full time job". He's working 4 days a week, 7 hours at a cafe after high school which he also just scraped by. I just don't get it 

Harry's picture

Is go to any cell phone store with $ of course. They will set up her new account.  Just make sure you don't own money on her phone. Or there's no penalty on cancellation of phone line. And or what is said cost.

CLove's picture

SD18 Princess Powersulk Do Nada still languishes on her horozontal throne. No job, no driving, no nada. I came home to dirty dishes last night, left for about 30 mins and came home they were done. 

I bought myself chicken and have taken the leftovers for lunch munch. 

Im still fuming about her "life plan" to help Toxic Troll keep her beachside abode by not working. 

Shieldmaiden's picture

Ah yes. I feel your pain. I had 3 princess powersulks and they all bickered constantly. I used to keep any food that I didn't want them to eat at work in the fridge there. Otherwise they would eat it all and complain that I bought the wrong kind of popcorn, even though they knew it wasn't intended for them. (We bought them the snacks they requested for them specifically.) 

It's just so irritating and constant. I am so glad they are all out of the house and clinging onto biomoms ass now. Let her deal with their selfishness, since she is the one who created it.

Merry's picture

Ha, I remember when I tried to cancel SS's line. DH begged me not to, to give him a chance to find a new plan for himself. Eventually, he did. Said it was a WAY better deal, and he'd set it up so our lines were part of his plan and all we had to do was send him our share of the money every month. 

DH was all in. I think all I said was "Hell no, not happening." They both were all butt hurt. SS was in the throes of active addiction at the time--nice try, Dude.