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Update 2 on SD cell phone cancellation

Shieldmaiden's picture

DH and I recently agreed to change cell phone plans and to remove SD20 from our plan. This took effect today, and since SD20 had over 30 days to create her own account but chose not to, her phone is now a paperweight.

Fathers day weekend DH made plans to take SD to the cell phone store to help her do this. She whined about needing to sleep in, and what an inconvenience it was, but was ready when DH showed up at BMs to pick her up. However, SD soon started in on DH about how he was a terrible father, a liar, and a manipulator. (BM's version of the truth) DH finally had enough of princess salty-ass. He told her she needed to stop hiding from her own life, and asked did she plan on living with her mother forever? She didn't answer, just kept trying accuse him of being a bad parent. He turned the car around and took her home without completing the trip.

DH is finally seeing how his inability to let her have consequences in her life has negatively affected her. SD is still pissed at him, and refused to take his call or text him Happy Fathers Day. At least her sisters sent him a text. He was very sad all weekend and I hate to see him sad. At least he is now realizing that he has to be more direct with his kids, and let them handle their own messes now. 

I had to make a choice on "unlocking" her cell phone indefinitely or until the plan ended today. If I left it open indefinitely, we would be paying fthe bill for our old plan and our new plan until she decided to get off her ass and switch. So, I chose not to leave it unlocked for transfer after the 18th. She may still be able to, but I don't think so. So now she may have to buy a new phone in addition to a new plan.Oh well. That is the consequence of letting things go until its too late. Welcome to adulthood, S20!


Cover1W's picture

Good Job on your DH:  "He turned the car around and took her home without completing the trip."

TrueNorth77's picture

Love to see it when "kids" (or grown SD's) are acting like asses. 

Shieldmaiden's picture

I know, I was so proud of him for doing that! He is really trying to set boundaries now.

JRI's picture

I know he's sad but tell him this:  "Mental health is an ongoing dedication to reality at all costs".

Shieldmaiden's picture

I like that saying. I will have to pass that along.

TrueNorth77's picture

Not only is it time to adult, but you don't get to sit there and treat your dad like crap, call him names and tell him how horrible he is, and expect him to pay for your cellphone. It's called "the consequences of your own actions". You need to treat people well to be treated well. She absolutely should have had her phone cut off for showing him absolute disrespect. 

Shieldmaiden's picture

I, for one, am happy to see the consequences happening. I've watched their bad behavior go unchecked by their parents for way too long. I hope they learn to be better people because of it. 

Shieldmaiden's picture

So SD called at the last minute and we conferenced the cell phone company in. Her phone number had been disconnected and gone back into the phone number "pool." She was desperate to keep her phone and her old number. Lucky for her, they were still able to move her old phone and number to her new account. 

DH made her do all the talking, and lo and behold - she did great. So why all the drama? This proved to DH that she is not helpless - that if pushed, she can care for herself. It was a win for us. Yay!  

Yesterdays's picture

One thing I have earned about kids lately is that they are very quick learning and adaptable. I think parents hold onto their kids a bit long all too often.. Claiming it's for their own good but sometimes it seems like it's really for themselves. Kids are maybe hesitant sometimes to do new things that are scary and usually in the end the change ends up being good for them. That's what I find anyhow. Giving them that little nudge goes a long way 

Rags's picture

Toxic kids become toxic kidults on their 18th bday and IMHO need to wallow in the shit of their toxicity.  No clean slate once they turn 18 unless they truly turn a new leaf.

When SD cried to daddy that she did not know what to do, daddy should have told her to figure it out then stood giving her the look, with arms crossed, while tapping his foot until she did something.