This weekend, SSs again asked DH, "dad, we need to know if you're going to pay for us to go to college."
They might want to focus on high school first. Both are below grade level and neither one has done anything in school since March.
Seriously, how delusional is BM? Also, what is her problem. She regularly has a lawyer send DH nasty letters accusing him of "communicating with her through the children" or "putting the children in the middle." Yet, SSs always seem to be asking DH questions on her behalf.
SSs are on DH's insurance. Today, we get a notice from the insurance company asking us to provide them more information on an injury that "could have been caused by an accident."
Apparently, on April 20th, one SS went to a hospital 20 miles from his home to get treatment for an"unspecified injury of external genitals, inital encounter." Um, what?!
This week, SSs' school started keeping track of "attendance" for remote learning. Students are marked present if they correspond with their teachers and hand in all assignments. They are marked tardy if they correspond with their teachers, but don't hand in all assignments. They are marked absent if they make no contact with their teachers. They receive one mark for the entire week.
BM has been relatively silent for the last few weeks, but this weekend she emailed and asked DH when he would resume his visits. Less than 24 hours later, she sends the same message again and adds that overly-dramatic SS (the one who found it "traumatic" to come to our home less than six months ago), said, "it's so unfair that I can't see my dad." DH has been facetiming with both kids regularly and neither has said, "hey dad, when can we come to your house?", apparently, they only share their "feelings" with BM.
To go back a bit, when all of this COVID-19 broke, DH reached out to BM and told her that because he is immune-compromised, he would like Skids to stay home if they are sick or if anyone in BM's home was sick or exposed. BM replied and said that she would actually prefer if Skids stayed at her home. DH was sad - he didn't want to move from seeing them entirely - but said ok.
I posted this as a comment on a forum posting and then decided I wanted to share my thoughts more broadly on "how to be a perfect stepmother". Would love to hear what others think...
TL;dr - The secret to being a perfect stepmom is to realize that you have no needs, you don't matter. You exist to make up for all the mistakes that DH and BM made. You also exist to be the scapegoat for all the mistakes DH and BM continue to make.
On Monday, DH contacted BM and said that because he's immune-compromised, he would prefer that SKids not come to our home if they are having symptoms or anyone in her home is having symptoms. BM replied and said that she thought it was best if they didn't switch at all. It all seemed so easy....and DH and I both commented that BM must be up to something.
We live at one of the epicenters of COVID-19 - schools are closed, restaurants are closed, churches are closed, no gatherings over 50 people, gatherings under 50 people must demonstrate they meet public health guidelines. We are averaging about 230 new confirmed cases a day. Not on lockdown, yet, but we probably should be. DH is freaking out because he can't work remotely and he's convinced he's being exposed at work.
Less than a week after telling DH that he's a terrible father who doesn't care about his children, BM let's DH know that Skids school is likely to close and she thinks DH and I should have to share the burden. She starts by saying that she's working remotely. Also, Skids are teens who don't need babysitting. How is this different from summer, when they stay with her? Because she'll be annoyed by them? Because she and her DH want to travel? It is unclear.
SSs aren't even in high school, yet, but today, BM demanded money for college. It doesn't matter to her neither kid is college material. One has Ds in all of his core course, the other has As and Bs, but his grades are all "modified" due to BM's claim that he has OCD caused by grade anxiety. Both score at "below grade level" on the state math and reading assessments. One is well below grade-level.