You are here

strugglingSM's Blog

The No-win Life of a Stepmother

strugglingSM's picture

Lately, my DH and I have been fighting a lot whenever his children come to visit. We are both more likely to snap at one another and fight when the kids are around. The last two days, we've had some long discussions about how to resolve this. 

I've shared with him that I think he expects me to behave differently when his kids are around, that he expects me to treat his children as if they are the most special people in the world when they are around, and that I want nothing better than to cater to their every whim. 

Another wonderful holiday with DH’s family

strugglingSM's picture

This weekend was our weekend with SSs. Next week is their spring break. At their last mediation, BM insisted that DH give up every spring break, so SSs could go to her parents’ winter condo in Palm Springs. DH agreed, but BM - without fail - schedules the flight so that it eats into DH’s weekend either when they are leaving or coming back. Last year, they came back on Saturday of his weekend and she didn’t tell him until the Wednesday before. 

Junk from BM’s house

strugglingSM's picture

Periodically, DH will come home from drop off or pick up with something from BM’s house that she decided was his. Today, he came home with two framed photos of him and his friends taken when he was married to DH, one was from his bachelor party for his wedding to BM. Last year, he came home with the video from their wedding.

I can't deal with the stupidity

strugglingSM's picture

I can't deal with BM's stupidity!

This week, DH's bad cold developed into pneumonia. I also have the same cold, but do not have pneumonia. I suspect we picked up this cold the last time SSs came, because BM texted before sending him to say he was sick with a cold and sore throat, but he'd be fine. 

Last night, SS apparently went home and threw up. BM texts DH to say "SS is throwing up and it's all your fault because you insisted on having the kids even though you had pneumonia! Now I have to take a day off from work to stay home with him!"


Um, a few things:

My lovely in-laws

strugglingSM's picture

I’ve posted about how terrible my in-laws are before, but just had to share again.

Last week, after asking DH to do this several times, I emailed BIL about what his child might like for silence.

This week, BM sends out SSs’ basketball schedule and BIL replies thanking her profusely and wishing her a Merry Christmas.

When Stepkids Brag

strugglingSM's picture

I get home from the grocery store and DH rushes over to tell me something. He says, "SS just told me that BM got a promotion to managing and now she makes 10% more." I think he was upset or expected me to be upset. I said, "I don't care, because in my world she doesn't exist, so she can make whatever she wants."

Sort of OT - Christmas Lists

strugglingSM's picture

BM just sent SSs' Christmas lists (that they've "worked on") out to DH, his family, and her family.

Each list has 5-7 items on it, with only one or two that are below $50 and some of the items below seem like things BM has added. For example, one has a $15 pair of basic sweatpants on there and the other has a $20 school backpack.

Am I the only one whose mother insisted I put items on my list that were both affordable and easy for people to find?