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I have been reading the blogs for a while now and really starting to feel like I know you guys here. I thought it was time I joined in. I am a bio/step mom. I have 2 kids of my own and 3 step. Right now things are going ok in my house but with a bunch of teenagers things get crazy. Just wanted to join in and introduce myself and I'll be back on later to tell more of my life.
Is it so wrong that I have completely eliminated myself from my stepdaughters life. Ever since my h's ex went to court I stopped helping with her homework, worrying about buying her clothes and paying for medical bills, I also stopped picking her up and going to extra activities. My life has been so much better since I have done this but I wonder if this is a bad thing and hope that my SD figures it out when she gets older that her mom is a major B**ch. Can someone please give me any suggestions or tell me if I am doing the right thing?
My peace is invaded again!! I was already annoyed last night, it was a long day, and I was letting something get the better of me, then at 10:12 pm, when I was just getting settled down....BM calls! I'm like WTF...what could she possibly want now? DH is holding the phone, I could see he was debating on answering it, I said "no way , not tonite, not now!" So she leaves a message as she used to do in the past. We go to listen to it, and , she is calling me!?! She is drunk first off, her words were slurring, and running together.
I'm beginning to wonder why we ever decided to move to be closer to SD. BM's parental alienation is just too much for me to take anymore. I guess I used to be able to handle it better before when I thought that it wasn't actually working on SD. But now, I don't know, I'm so discouraged, disheartened, hopeless. I really don't think that we'll be able to continue having a meaningful relationship with SD. It's so sad and scary - she's turning into a mini-version of her mother which is my *worst* nightmare.
I just don't know how to deal anymore.
Sometimes I think my DH goes out of his way to frustrate me on purpose, he can't really be that simple, can he? Masybe it's me? I honestly just don't ever think I will get a grip on how he thinks. The stuff he says and does has absolutely no logic to me. Case in point, my SS11 has had a project to do for school, it was due today, he worked on it a while back but then left it which is how it always goes. Of course last night DH had to move him along to finish it.
I have been reading through some of the posts over the last couple days and am so happy that I somehow managed to stumble across this site. It is such a relief to see that I am not alone and that I am not wrong in feeling the way I do sometimes. And Im hoping that some of you can help me with a few suggestions....
So, my DH forgot on Easter that it was his holiday and I refuse to treat him like a child and remind him of everything, so I let it go.
Opinions wanted
We were supposed to have the skids this past weekend. My dh called to arrange the pickup time, and was informed that BM had plans for her and the skids and he could either 1) get them after dinner on Sat. or 2) get them the following weekend, as a make up.
I am very excited. Hoping we can get some good suggestions for dealing with bm and mil, who both show signs of BPD. It's been making ME feel nutso trying to deal with them.
The focus of our counselor's practice is "family systems" and he has a lot of years experience. Wish me luck in adequately being able to explain the situation...