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Recent Blog Posts
I know it's a day early, but I won't be on line Friday thru Monday. So, can we do Friday funees on Thursday?
I dated alot because I was single for 15 years after my divorce. So I have pocketsful of goofy dating moments, and this is my fav.
It was my first date with a new guy. When he arrived to pick me up, he asked to use the bathroom. After he finished, I ran in to put on a last second lip gloss, and lol and behold-he had left me a little present!
I want to start by saying all in all I cannot complain about my SS. He really is a good kid and is all heart. However 80% of the mornings he is with us on school days I could just ring his neck.
I am a morning person. I hit the floor running and that is my best time of the day. H is not a morning person and SS is somewhere in between. Some mornings he is great and others is just plain sucks.
Morning everyone.
I don't blog alot but I so value everyone's insight and opinions, and I am in need of all that I can get today. This may be long, but bear with me.
We have SD8 and SD11 50% of the time. The other 50% they are with their crazy BM, who like many out there-
* over indulges constantly and then gets to be the martyr when things go badly
* engages in power struggles over everything and often creates them
* has no appropraite parent/child boundaries- SD8 is the infant, SD11 is the confidant
* isn't responsible for anything
Yesterday DH and Zippy went to the Dermatologist. Zippy has severe acne and the pre-meds his GP gave him-Zippy was non-compliant with the pills and regime.
I sat DH down and said:
The message said "Hi this is BM and calling to invite you to have a drink/cofffee so that we can discuss some things?
Would you:
A. Call her back and arrange a time/place?
B. Call Looney Tunes back and curse her out because she must be crazy to suggest something as off the wall as that!
Or lastly
C. Don't even bother returning the call!
Long story short. SS moved in with us a year ago. More like dropped off on our door step because BM couldn't handle him any longer. We took a total jerk of a kid, cleaned him up. Brought his grades from F's to A's & B's, got rid of his gingervitis(sp) due to poor hygene. Everything going as well as could be. He lost his cell phone due to violating a rule! No big deal, actions have concequences. Went to visit his mom and she bought him one on her plan and told him to hide it from us. Today I saw it. Now mind you she knew he lost his cell phone use until further notice!
What a damn mess. SD and BM have been cooking this up for a long time. SD has been purposely not doing her school work and getting bad grades. BM has been threatening for months that SD is going to run away.
So she did. Monday morning after H and I left for work. BM assisted of course but we can't prove. BM refused to release SD to H and we had to get a Writ of Assistance from the judge so the police could retrieve her and bring her to us.
Sorry if this gets a bit long, but I would like opinions on this. As most of us here know, many of our DH's have been cheated on my the BM. Mine included, and she did this several times over the course of the marriage with my DH. But there is one time that still, to this day, hurts the most. I believe it was most likely the first time she did this to him, but, it was with a close friend of his that he grew up with. Here is were things get wierd for me. This happened shortly after SS was born, while they were on vacation up here on the Cape visiting family.
If your BM/EH was or is in arrears, what did you or would you do? Well today marks the day that BM is officially 6 months in arrears in CS due us. Granted it's not alot.... she only is supposed to pay $100 a month to us since DH's salary got drastically slashed (we have 50/50). She dragged her feet for 3 months, refusing to sign a stipulation, and then finally agreed to settle an hour prior to court. The judge signed the order in Feb, and we have yet to see a penny. She also per the agreement owes us arrears back to November 1.
You have learned as a stepparent?
I was sitting in the Dr.'s office this morning and she had a poster on her waiting room wall about Things People Have Learned in Life from 5-85 (my personal favourite was from a 7 year old who learned from life that "Goldfish do NOT like Jello!") It got me to thinking about the single most profound thing I have learned about my decision to take on, full time, when he was 14-SS Zippy 16.5.
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