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Shaman29's Blog

Joining the update train.......long

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As some of you know, H and were separated during 2014. Mostly due to his continued habit of making decisions that affect me, without including me or despite my objections.

We spent 2014 in long distance marriage counseling. I visited twice in Hawaii to discuss matters and for face to face counseling. Then it came time to make a decision and I decided to move and join H in Hawaii.

Bitter asexual lesbians on vacation (Echo's husband will protest this title)

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Echo's log....82314.12.52am

After much wine and rumination, stepdown, Echo and I had these thoughts:

1. If a guy is a jerk when you're dating, he will be a jerk after you married him. He will not change after marriage. So don't be shocked when we mock you when you complain afterwards.

2. If your skid is an j-ass, it's because you're husband is a j-ass.

Had dinner with the skid.

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Skid has been having a rough time dealing with post-HS reality. H called and asked if I would mind meeting her for dinner to see if there was anything I could do for her.

I offered to meet her halfway, but she said she'd drive to my city. I arrived a little early to the restaurant, knowing that she has a habit of showing up late whenever she's met her dad and I in the past. The owner of the restaurant knows H and I, so she came over to chat with me. We were in the middle of the conversation when skid showed up. Five minutes early. Shocked the hell out of me.

Is it just me or is anyone else seeing the pattern of horrible communication in blended family situations??

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It seems a lot of our problems seem to start with poor communication between the couple.

Either we're not clearly communicating our needs.
Or we're not clearly communicating our boundaries.
Or our partners aren't open to what we're saying.
Or we're ignoring what they are saying.

Does anyone else see how the pattern is starting with the main two principals, and then becomes a full blown crazy quilt?