The chef stopped by this morning with breakfast for the three of us. Pineapple waffles, with pineapple butter and coconut. They were delicious.
As some of you know, H and were separated during 2014. Mostly due to his continued habit of making decisions that affect me, without including me or despite my objections.
We spent 2014 in long distance marriage counseling. I visited twice in Hawaii to discuss matters and for face to face counseling. Then it came time to make a decision and I decided to move and join H in Hawaii.
After much wine and rumination, stepdown, Echo and I had these thoughts:
1. If a guy is a jerk when you're dating, he will be a jerk after you married him. He will not change after marriage. So don't be shocked when we mock you when you complain afterwards.
2. If your skid is an j-ass, it's because you're husband is a j-ass.
I am going to report some good news.
Skid has been having a rough time dealing with post-HS reality. H called and asked if I would mind meeting her for dinner to see if there was anything I could do for her.
I offered to meet her halfway, but she said she'd drive to my city. I arrived a little early to the restaurant, knowing that she has a habit of showing up late whenever she's met her dad and I in the past. The owner of the restaurant knows H and I, so she came over to chat with me. We were in the middle of the conversation when skid showed up. Five minutes early. Shocked the hell out of me.
Breast biopsy came back negative.
Lefty is out of the dog-house.
(wipes brow in relief)
Sorry for the length.
H is starting to see some aspects of Skid’s personality that aren’t making him so happy.
It seems a lot of our problems seem to start with poor communication between the couple.
Either we're not clearly communicating our needs.
Or we're not clearly communicating our boundaries.
Or our partners aren't open to what we're saying.
Or we're ignoring what they are saying.
Does anyone else see how the pattern is starting with the main two principals, and then becomes a full blown crazy quilt?
Wanted to let you know how this is going.
We've had four sessions so far. I like the counselor. She's very skilled and very balanced. She is also of the same ethnicity as H and I, which helps her understanding with some of our personality traits.
Things H revealed during our sessions: