So DH and I had an extened convo/fight about his kids and how I parent them. Mind you this was after sd8 was being a little sh*t and I let him deal with it.
"You're just so much more patient with your kids. You have more time and engery for them. Why?"
I don't blog alot but I so value everyone's insight and opinions, and I am in need of all that I can get today. This may be long, but bear with me.
We have SD8 and SD11 50% of the time. The other 50% they are with their crazy BM, who like many out there-
* over indulges constantly and then gets to be the martyr when things go badly
* engages in power struggles over everything and often creates them
* has no appropraite parent/child boundaries- SD8 is the infant, SD11 is the confidant
* isn't responsible for anything
Ok ladies and gents- I need some advice.
Like many of you, BM makes my blood boil for many, many, many reasons. I avoid her whenever possible just to keep the additional tension out of my life. But due to our circumstances I have to see her, the SK's have to see us together and she has to see my kids at least occassionally. Right now I have to see her at swimming lessons and girl scout events where her kids and my kids are involved. I've been dealing with this for almost 4 years.
the insanity continues over stupid halloween.
My poor DH got to have a 40 minute fight in front of the elementary school with BM this morning. So much wrong I can't even put it all down.
The biggest thing right now is that she's told my DH again and again that its OK for her to share her thoughts and feelings about him and me to the girls. She feels that this will make them more empathetic people.
This sucks. Here's the background.
The last few years, we've had a horrible "blended" Halloween. This is the ONLY holiday where BM gets to come over to my house, involve herself in MY family and in this case trick or treat in MY neighborhood. She's innappropriate, passive aggressive and just awful to be around. After last year I told my DH that it would NEVER happen again. He said he understood. I told him a few weeks ago that my plan was to take my kids and do my own thing- he, his ex and kids could figure out how they wanted to handle it but I had other plans.
Halloween is one of the holidays I'm starting to dread and are hoping ya'll can give me some advice.
Not exactly step related but I'm sure many of you folks have been thru this and I'd love some advice.
I went to my first counseling session a few weeks ago, completely overwhelmed with my world as a mom, wife, step mom, FT employee etc. and pretty quickly, the therapist, who is also a step mom, suggested that DH and I come to therapy togehter. DH and I have experienced our own troubles over time and he agreed to go to my next session to see how we could make things better.
Our first session was yesterday, and it was a miserable failure.
So DH and I try to both be involved in all the kids stuff. I've always tried to go to conferences for the SK's so I know their teachers and understand what's going. DH comes to my BK conferences. But I hate it!
I'm dreading going to the conference for my 7yo SD in a few hours for several reasons:
OK folks, bear with me. Much rage, small keyboard, horrible, evil, manipulative BM!
She has no sense of boundaries whatsoever! Although there are several years of history that set me up for the heightened annoyance but in the last 24 hours, she has: