help- how can I keep from getting myself worked up around bm
Ok ladies and gents- I need some advice.
Like many of you, BM makes my blood boil for many, many, many reasons. I avoid her whenever possible just to keep the additional tension out of my life. But due to our circumstances I have to see her, the SK's have to see us together and she has to see my kids at least occassionally. Right now I have to see her at swimming lessons and girl scout events where her kids and my kids are involved. I've been dealing with this for almost 4 years.
So last night I dreaded, nearly all day, sitting in an high school swimming pool even near her for an hour. The non-stop passive agressive comments have stopped becuase I don't interact with her. There's still the non stop posturing to physically, mentally and emotionally keep the SK's away from me while she's there- they don't acknoweldge me, look at me or come anywhere near me because they need to be "loyal" (I'm more upset for them than me that she does that) I hate how she goes out of her way to parent or interact with my kids when she has no right to. This just amps up the tension between us that I'm sure everyone can feel. Swimming lessons were only an hour, not the end of the world, but they really stress me out. But I'm already dreading an upcoming girl scout event where we'll both be there for a whole day AND my DH won't be there as a buffer. I've thought about not going or being involved, but that doesn't seem to be a fair solution for me or for my kids.
So what do I do? I've elminated as much of the interaction as possile. It's not reasonable for me to extend the olive branch and try and make nice because these boundaries have helped overall and she's an insane person. It's not healthy for me to get so stressed and worked up about this- to dread seeing her so much after 4 years to the point I actually wonder about moving my girls to a different school/girl scout troops just so I don't have to be around her.