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Recent Blog Posts
DH picks SS12 up next Saturday for our cruise. We are busy prepping, packing, and finalizing hotel, rental car, etc. While I am excited for the trip, I am also nervous with everything going on with SS and BM's drama lately. BM has been radio silent since DH refused to pay for SS' therapy, which we discovered we will be responsible to pay if she runs it through out-of-network insurance deductible after further consulting with our attorney and the FOC (but DH didn't tell her that). She threw her hissy fit and is now "punishing" DH by being silent and not providing any updates about anything.
I have some.
1. Infidelity. Probably amplified by the serial adulterous XW. This is an absolute deal breaker for me and also an absolute non starter. Like a red flag waiving in front of a bull kinda thing.
And denial is right after.... this past Sunday we dropped by MIL house for a quick visit. I didn't really want to go but DH said that MiL had clothes for the kiddos and he had to pick up some mail that went there by mistake so I was like ok. His aunt was there and I enjoy her company so I figured it could not be too bad. So we get there and it's pretty chill.
So during our annual road trip, we stay at this hotel with an arcade room. Out of curiosity I walk in and there it is! A "claw" game. The type where a kid tries to pick up a prize with the mechanical "claw." This was a favorite of SD26's aka the Animal Torturer. There was simply never a case where we didn't have to stop in our tracks so that the Animal Torturer would put endless quarters in UNTIL she picked up a prize of her liking. I O Ws hours of time spent as she fumbled her way through the game (she was not good at it whatsoever).
One of the many facets to navigate- when to speak up and when to keep your mouth shut. I have recently adopted the keep my mouth shut tactic, and I've also been able to finally set a few boundaries, like not playing a parent role by being responsible for things when I'm not respected. It has worked out for the better so far, maybe just because I took the pressure off of myself. Anyways...
DH and I can't have a private conversation with ADHD SS8 around. When I say around, I mean when he's 2 rooms away watching TV, playing in his bedroom with the door closed or even "sleeping".
So, 3 years married and I just finally heard my spouse say what I already knew and kept stating.. She was feeling guilty about how she left her past and felt like she abandoned her former spouse and his family. All of this pressure had been placed on me to always do so much to ensure everyone else was comfortable despite the disrespect to our marriage and to me. I've explained this to her countless times. How she always bent to him and took his side even when he was in the wrong. I don't communicate with her ex and never met him.
Does the sadness of failed family blending every truly go away? DH and I have been very happy together and today is actually our anniversary. And I should be feeling celebratory but tbh, I'm struggling. When we got married, 7 years ago, all 4 of our kids were by our side, cheering us on. Our extended families and friends were there. (As fast as as we knew) there wasn't a single objection to our marriage. Even our exes were supportive. And then things changed drastically, DH is now no contact with his kids and everyone in his family other than his mom (very low contact).
Ok I have to rant a bit here. I follow SS12 on his TikTok and we only created an account to monitor SS on it a few years ago and honestly I think he has completely forgotten I am his friend on there and can see his content. His content is mainly his BMX riding and him playing sport so it's nothing too drastic.
This has continued to be a problem for years!! We have SS12 full time, mom has no custody or visitation. I have argued and pleaded with DH for years to stay on top of SS room. It is absolutely disgusting. This weekend I got fed up of smelling it from his bedroom and went in there myself. Found a disgusting amount of trash, junk, clothes, EVERYWHERE you could barely see the floor. Found 2 bottles of URINE because he was too lazy to walk literally 5 feet to his bathroom. His floor is wet and has yellow stains which he claims is from sleep walking at night.
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