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Recent Blog Posts
it makes me sick to look at him...when i do i associate him with the ex...that isnt healthy is it?? Ive had to deal with her more than i ever wanted..He never had to deal with my ex...NEVER..I have ahd i know this is harsh..but i hate him because he has let her come into my life way to much....And his ex step kids pretend to want me around til im around them...then im ignored and they talk about the ex (their mother)...He lives in my home, but i want to run away..I dont even want to go home,,,And on top of all that his mom keeps calling me by the ex's name ....ugh.
So on Christmas Eve I drank a bottle of wine at my mom's dinner party. Cabernet. All by myself. It was nummy.
After the party, DH and I dropped all the kids off. First the boys at their dads and then the girls at BMs. BM's new BF's car was in the driveway. I went to the door with DH only because I was half drunk and not gonna lie, wanted to see what the new BF looked like.
BM invited us in for a drink. (Again I was half drunk...) We obliged. So we drank some more...a lot more.
This is where it starts to get fuzzy.
was with future sister in law sunday...Her cell phone rings...it was my FH ex wife....I was so on the spot..She called to tell her ex sister in law that her dog died and she needs support....this woman will not go away.....She wanted to know if her ex (my fh knew)???
Calling the attorney will have to wait-my son is here, getting ready to leave today. His perspective-he's never seen anyone, in his entire life, with the emotional hills and valleys like H.
My son said he thought Christmas went real well, and like me, doesn't understand what in the world was going on Friday that H would treat me like he did. Now today h is all sunlite and roses-wants to take off and take me to the beach. Yeah. Like that's where we went to get married-and H was so awful we didn't even sleep together our wedding night.
My bd and I were sitting in the front room this morning-I was having my morning coffee. She said "mom have you ever noticed that grandmother always talks about sd. It doesn't even matter what we are talking about she refers back to something about sd. I'm so tired of hearing about what she did or how sweet or cute she is.". I simply just asked "does that bother you?". She said it is so annoying. My bd is 13 and the sd is 19.
I guess I'm not the only one that NOTICES....
Ok I have a son and BF has a daughter both age 9. Well my son went to visit his father in New york for the holidays so he was not around this weekend that we had SD. Well SD im guessing was extremly bored. Either that or shes extremely spoiled and shes used to being taken out every weekend or always having someone to play with. She got gifts from us for Xmas that she could of played with but im guessing that was not good enough for her. Well she called BM and asked her if she could come get her and BM im sure with a huge smile on her face said sure.
so against my better judgement I did not tell FH my fears about letting his soon to be ex con bioson stay at our house. I will however not do that again, that little bastard came to my HOME and acted like he was the boss. Tuesday the 23rd the weather was awful it took me nearly 2 hours to get home- a ride that usually takes 45 min. I get home the skids were already there, (so much for relaxing), as I was taking off my wet shoes, goodfornutin comes up behind me and starts talking over my head like I wasnt even there.
We managed to convince BM to allow us to take SD on Christmas day, b/c FH and I were traveling to MA to be with my family, who adore SD, and we wanted to bring her. BM requests that we not pick SD up until 10:00 am so they can have "family time" christmas morning. Threw a bit of a crimp in our plans, but okay, we made it work. So at 10:00 am on the dot, we pull up to SD's house. She comes out a moment later, and we cheerfully greet her, say merry christmas, etc. We ask her how her morning was and she says she spent it alone.
Why do I let the little things get to me?? Why cant I just be happy having an amazing DH and a new house and a foster daughter and stepson I love, eventhough some times the two of them together makes me crazy, why cant I just ignore BM and live my life the one I want. I do I concentrate so much on BM being unhappy, when she is not happy I am soooo happy but when she seems happy I get aggravated, I just want to forget she even exist and let my DH deal with her.
I've been thinking about this for the last couple of days, and I'm really at a loss of what to say or do.
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