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Recent Blog Posts
You've all prayed for my Mom. So I'd like to introduce you to her.
She is 75 years old, with only a few gray hairs!
Mom has always been a nervous type of woman, maybe a little OCD, certainly a little paranoid, but also very in love, very dependent on my Dad. Her dad was killed by a drunk driver when she was nine. In those days, there wasn't liability insurance, so she grew up very very poor. And very very beautiful. She loved her mother deeply, and took great care of her in her last years.
I saw this letter to Dear Abby in the advice section of my newspaper. I did not agree with her reply to the stepmother that time, but I honestly don't know how to feel about her response to this dad. Here is his letter and her response:
I'm excited to see how this one unfolds. BF and I were getting together his tax stuff because we have an appt later today. He asked BM earlier this year who she claimed and she told him SS13 and SS6, leaving BF with SD10. So I said that sounds wrong and looked today parent time/child support papers (which by the way almost all of it was the way SHE wanted things, so you would think she would stick by them). Turns out BF is supposed to get SS6 and BM gets the other two, and that's good because BF has daycare costs to deduct for SS6.
Sometimes signs come at strange moments. This weekend I was at a fancypants hotel having a fancypants lunch with a work colleague prior to a presentation that I had to give to fancypants people, and we were served the fanciest soup I have ever seen. I remarked on the fanciness of the soup, and my colleague replied, "Enjoy it! You are an incredible woman and you deserve the very best."
To my horror, I started to cry over my fancy soup. It is never a good idea to cry in full makeup and a suit prior to a large presentation. But I couldn't help it.
Ok, so last night I once again tried to play peacemaker for the benefit of the children involved. It turned out to be a waste of my time. So the redhead of me came out today.
I told BM how I truly felt about her sorry butt. I made sure to mention how she doesn't pay child support, doesn't help out with anything financial or medical with the kids and that the only thing she's focused on is her love life.
She complained that I had no business to know about her suspended drivers license and that she doesn't see the problem.
After the last post about finances, and some other issues that have surfaced, I am downgrading the relationship. We've strayed REALLY far from the ideal that I had for us, and I do love him very much, but I'm not going to push forward with this relationship until things are better, I did that once before, and it didn't work out, and I'm not going to do it again. I've been doing a lot of writing over the last couple of weeks, really figuring out where I've been, and where I am, and where I'm going. It's a much needed perspective, and I concluded that things need to slow WAY down.
FH(now downgraded to bf) didn't bother to tell me about the skids having tutoring this morning. I was really sick last night and went to bed at 8pm. I got up at 6:50 this morning, which is pretty late for me so I was running behind. Bf comes home and wakes up the skids so they can get ready for something. I have to hurry in the bathroom and get out. I tell bf that he should have told me they had to be somewhere (tutoring as it turns out). Bf tells me I'm supposed to 'just know' since it is Tuesday. (He's never explained how it works).
We had our mediation yesterday and I just have one thing to say....What a JOKE!!!
obviously it did not go well. We wanted 50/50 time BM only willing to let stay over on Sunday night on our weekends and wanted child care credit on child support worksheet and she is not even working and has no child care plus we pay her attorney! So it is to court for us....the gloves are off my H is now Rocky Balboa and the BM is Ivan Drago (the Russian boxer in Rocky IV)...big mean and scary!
OMG!
SS came back to town yesterday on college break. I suggested that he have breakfast with his Dad. They thought it was a great idea and they would talk today about the time. He called tonight and said that he can't make it for breakfast as they had planned because his mommy made an appointment for him to get his haircut at the same time!
#1) Why is BM still making appointments for him?
#2) Everyone knows that one of the tactics of an alienating parent is to schedule things for the children of the other parents time. This "kid" is 19! Come on!
In previous blog I mentioned that we had received a recommendation from the GAL that had a placement schedule (50/50) that bounced the skids back and forth between houses literally every other day and totally at random (this is due to the ever important work schedule of BM who can't possible take care of the skids on the day she works. Well come to find out that when skids met with GAL they essentially threw DH under the bus. Suddenly instead of wanting a week to week schedule like they had previously told us, they decided that this ridiculous schedule would be great.
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