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Anon2009's Blog

Are some things just easier to tolerate when it's you or your own bio

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Because it seems like a lot of sms and/or their own bio kids were/are far from perfectly behaved too. In fact, sometimes the situations/behaviors (past and/or present) of the sm/sms bio sound worse. I don't believe that any of us were saints as kids.

If it was your son...what would you be like as a grandparent in a divorce/breakup situation

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would you a) kiss bms ass so you can see the grands as often as possible or b) if she was a real bitch, just see the grands when they're with your son and hope they reach out to you for a closer relationship when they're older or try reaching out to them when they're older yourself or c) if your son cheated on bm, side with her even if she's a real bitch?

Someone posted this letter to the other woman today

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And a lot of people disagreed with what the author wrote. I would too if the author's ex cheated on her years ago, but it all sounds pretty recent.

If I was dating a man who was legally married, I would have enough sense to not be in bms presence until the divorce was finalized.

If I was the woman dh cheated with bm on I would not expect bm to do anything less than hate my guts.

Advice for a friend

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I have a good friend who recently got divorced. Her husband had been having an affair with his now-gf.

My friend wants to know what to do to keep her feelings in check. They share kids. As you can imagine, there are times when she just wants to throttle the gf and ex. It sucks balls for her to have to know the kids are going to spend some holidays with her cheating ex and his f!ck buddy. It sucks even more because she didn't do anything to warrant forfeiting time with her kids.

It doesn't end once sks turn 18.

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I was just thinking about it. The step issues don't end once the sks turn 18. Just look at the adult forum. Neither does the association with bm. Next up you have graduations, weddings and grandkids. And then the grandkids will have graduations, weddings and other life events. Some of these events can be done separately, sure. But weddings and graduation ceremonies can't be.

Bms and our inlaws

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How do you feel about them being friends (if they are friends)?

I think it's entirely situational. If, say, dh cheated on bm and left her for the other woman, I think it's ok for them to be friends with bm and support her (on their own time). If everyone can be civil I think it's ok for inlaws and bms to be friends on their own time. But of course if bm is psycho, it's not a good idea.

IDGAF if my mil is friends with bm (she's not), or if she was when bm was cp. I understand she wants to see her only grandkids as often as she humanly can.