Bms and our inlaws
How do you feel about them being friends (if they are friends)?
I think it's entirely situational. If, say, dh cheated on bm and left her for the other woman, I think it's ok for them to be friends with bm and support her (on their own time). If everyone can be civil I think it's ok for inlaws and bms to be friends on their own time. But of course if bm is psycho, it's not a good idea.
IDGAF if my mil is friends with bm (she's not), or if she was when bm was cp. I understand she wants to see her only grandkids as often as she humanly can.
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I couldn't care less. Any
I couldn't care less. Any relationship they may or may not have with each other has absolutely nothing to do with me.
In our case, yes, they are
In our case, yes, they are friends and, yes, it is completely inappropriate.
During DH's separation and divorce from BM, she withheld the kids, did everything she could to, in her own words, "destroy him". She told the kids he didn't love them. While she was withholding them, she told them he abandoned them. She told his daughter every detail of their marital problems (including sexual problems) when she was only 9 years old (as if that's appropriate at any age).
She tried to drag out their divorce and make it as difficult as possible, held the kids up for ransom, didn't budge from the unreasonable terms she drafted.
He gave up and gave in hoping to just shut her up and get her to just go away. Big mistake. The alienation has continued despite him giving her everything she demanded.
I think his parents are assholes for continuing their relationship with her. They had thanksgiving with her this year too.
I understand in laws being
I understand in laws being civil with BM for my skids sake but I don't like that they're friends. Mainly because BM was a cheater and gold digger and treated DH like crap. So basically the in laws are "besties" with someone who did their son wrong! I don't care one way or another if they like me or not but their relationship with BM is in my opinion, inappropriate.
What do they think about
What do they think about having relationships with their grandkids? Is it one of those things where they hope that, once the kids are older and not under bms thumb, they (kids) will reach out to them?
My MIL has a relationship
My MIL has a relationship with the BM and I feel it is very inappropriate. BM cheated on my DH and walked out on him and their two sons when the boys were 4 and 2. Then she screwed him over in the divorce. Has slandered him repeatedly to anyone she can get to listen (unknowingly often to people who are loyal to DH), has abandoned the skids when it wasn't convenient for whichever boyfriend she was trying to reign in only to pop back into their lives when the relationship didn't work out. She slanders me, my kids also.
MIL has had BM over for Christmas dinner with skids and excluded (actually did it behind DH's back) my husband and I. MIL has relayed personal information to BM about both myself and DH that was none of BM's business. The list goes on and on.
My parents...have known my exH since he was 10 yrs old. I was married for 14 yrs. Our parents were best friends. My parents are cordial to exH if they run in to him, but they do NOT telephone or invite him for visits to their home. PERIOD. That is appropriate.