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Because so many new things get posted, and because it takes me a full day or two to get privacy on the computer to answer questions posted to my blogs...this is a new blog for questions asked about my last entry.
Well, to start off....SD15 moved in with DH & I in August. BM was to give us her stuff so that we wouldn't have to buy SD15 all new things (clothes, personal items, anything of SD15's that she wanted). Well, the only thing BM gave us was SD15's clothes, shoes, a purse or 2, some of her make-up, and a couple of SD15's movies. Well this upset SD15 and she can't understand why BM won't give her her things. Then to top it off, last month BM called and said SD15, I'm going through some of your things that are here and was wondering what you wanted me to do with them.
Okay, where to start. . . well, this week my husband who is a very good father and is making very good attempts to be assertive with his BM has had a terrible run in and it never seems to let up.
we adults presented it to the kids like this:
that they have more power than they think they do. They control themselves and how they react to the situation. No, they didn't get to choose that their parents get divorced, or us as stepparents. They didn't get to choose our kids as family members. They don't control what anyone says about their parents or stepparents, whether it's truth or lies.
okay, sd9 IS a little bit of a drama queen. i get that. she can really ham it up...what makes that worse is that BM is an idiot. for real. in the last 12 months they have taken her to the emergency room 11 different times. sd9 has no medical problems, she is a healthy, active, (dramatic) 9 year old girl. one time they took her to the emergency room because she fell off a swing at the playground. geez!!! kids fall people! they fall off bikes, they get bruises! unless something is seriously wrong, you don't rush them to the ER and then keep them out of school for a few days!
SS11 has been telling BM he doesn't want to come over to DH house anymore. So DH goes and picks him up, to found out whats wrong. SS11 tells DH my BS14 is mean to him (they both pick on each other) and I called SS11 fat when he was eating pizza. I know for a fact I would NEVER, EVER say such a thing. DH said well maybe SS11 misunderstood! I said well I need to talk to him about this. DH said no, because he wont talk about whats wrong again. We will be having a family meeting with BS14,BS6,SS14 and SS11. The hard part is SS11 has high functional autism.
http://www.parentdish.com/2009/10/01/woman-terminates-adoption-because-s...
It's about a mom who was going to adopt a child, and then 18 months later, gives the child back because she "can't bond with it".
This is my favorite quote from the article...
Vickmeister got me to thinking....that is almost scary in itself!!! My DH has kept things from his previous marriage for my sd's when they get older, i.e. wedding video, bouquet from wedding and so on. Sometimes it creeps me out that those things are in my home, mind you they are boxed up in the basement, but what for? What are my sd's going to do with some of those things? I have respected my DH wishes but at times I really wonder what the purpose is behind keeping those things, BM obviously didn't want them, why do we have to be the keeper of those things?
OK, Im totally excited cause were gonna get to have a "real" halloween this year for the first time with all of us together- BD (shes turning 1 the 24th of this month!), SS, hubby and myself. I really wanted to do family costumes, like a character we can all be that fits with the other... Ive been reading and all i liked was the Addams family. Thats such a cute idea! but, my baby's barely going to be a yr old, and I dont think the wig for wednesday will work... So i was thinking-- does anyone else have a family-esque idea I can possible get together?
What I believe:
I believe a child needs routine.
I believe a child needs a home.
I believe a child needs a constant care giver.
I believe a child needs time to be a child, and not worry about things like hair and make-up.
I believe a child needs to be protected from stangers.