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Recent Blog Posts
Sorry I've been absent for a few days. It feels like there's so much to read now since I've been gone. This website has become so popular!
Anyway, I had a dream last night that SS, BF and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie, and SS leaned over and gave me a kiss and told me he loved me. I was so happy! I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him I loved him back. Then he gave me a mother's day card that was really sweet and I was so shocked. When I opened it up I could tell that it was biomom's handwriting inside and I was confused about that.
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievements. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out
if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
I am sad that my stepdaughter is being raised by a mentally ill mother. I am sad that this sick woman stops at nothing to hurt the father of her child, even at the child's expense. I am sad that my stepdaughter's mother is jealous of the beautiful relationship I have with her daughter and that she does everything in her power to sabotage it. I am sad that my fiance is on the verge of bankruptcy because he pays his ex 60% of his net pay in alimony and child support and she doesn't work and never will.
We discussed how we would handle this pregnancy BEFORE we even got pregnant. We decided that since stepsons mom made things extremly difficult with our first pregnancy, we wanted to wait until at least 4-5 months in to break the news. We planned on telling him during one of our weekend visits and send him home with a letter telling her the news. At first we planned on not saying anything to her at all and let stepson tell her if and when he chose to but then we were scared that she would take it out on him and didn;t want that either.
I want to start this forum with the hope of gaining more insight into the methods you have used in developing and maintaining a relationship with stepchildren. I have confronted a few problems with my BF's SS relationship. I think my role is too much of a friend type role--more like the kind I have w/my nephews and nieces. But for my family it works great. I am very open, we joke around, have inside jokes, etc.
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it.
This excerpt was given to us to read by our counselor regarding conflict resolution. Basically there are three styles of conflict management… all are goal-oriented but these drives & behaviors are mostly unconscious.
Nonassertive – Goal is to avoid conflict
Assertive – Goal is to satisfy your needs and wants and to resolve conflicts in a way that is satisfying to both you and others.
Aggressive – Goal is to dominate and get one’s own way.
Rights and Responsibilities
1. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
I gotta stop complaining to my husband about this ex issue thing...it's ruining my marriage. I guess I tend to take out my frustration on him and he is hurt & upset about it. I am now taking steps to control my emotions and anger so I don't ruin my marriage. I do realize I do that. Are you guys in the same situation?
Once a child enters school full time does that impact the child support obligation?
I don't understand why for the next 12 years (SD is 6) we are subject to having our income ripped out from under us at the ex's whim. My BF pays PLENTY for SS and SD in monthly child support, promptly each and every month without a word. Ex is getting remarried next month, and today my BF let her know, as nicely as could be done, that pursuant to the settlement agreement the alimony payment will terminate next month. Her comeback was "well, I think it's time to have our attorneys run the child support program taking into account your increase in income".