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Recent Blog Posts
SS just turned a ripe old age of 9 last weekend. Unfortunately his behavior is more like a 3 year old. Forget helping with chores or taking any responsibility. He can't even handle basic tasks. He doesn't flush the toilet, never washes his hands, can barely tie his shoes, and would go days without brushing his teeth if not hounded. He lies about everything, even if we are standing right there watching him do it. He'll come out of the bathroom and we'll ask, "did you flush? Wash your hands?
Well, our plan to see the skids has been put into action. DH spoke to both of them this past weekend when they were with MIL, and told SS about getting them up here. SS response was " OH YEAH, I WANNA COME UP!!!" So we will be saving $$and shopping for tickets soon. Our next step of course is having MIL communicate some w/ BM about this. I know BM will probably call us, she may do that soon as I know SS will tell her, and we plan to handle it in a professional manner, and if an argument/blow out happens, then we will just let it go, and stick with our first plan of going down to FL.
Ok ladies and gents- I need some advice.
Like many of you, BM makes my blood boil for many, many, many reasons. I avoid her whenever possible just to keep the additional tension out of my life. But due to our circumstances I have to see her, the SK's have to see us together and she has to see my kids at least occassionally. Right now I have to see her at swimming lessons and girl scout events where her kids and my kids are involved. I've been dealing with this for almost 4 years.
Well, we spent four awesome days in Cancun, no phone calls, just lots of sun and couple time. Much needed.
However, we weren't even off the PLANE when the "guilty daddy" returned, and I really don't know if I'm overreacting here or if this is just WEIRD.
I really needed a place to vent and someone told me about this site. I've just begun reading the forums. Here's the skinny on me: I'm in my 30s and have 2 kids: 12-yo BS and 13-yo SD. I live with my partner of 2 years. My BS is with me every other weekend and one day each week plus vacations. SD lives with us full-time and her other parent is not in her life.
Ive read many blogs with people with problems that seem so much worse then mine. There are frustrations with steps and husbands or wives, but many, not all, still are fighting through it because of the love they have for DH/DW? I keep wondering why my wife is staying. Maybe because she knows Im a good dad to BD? How happy can she be?
I want to address things with DW and feel we could do some good, but she cant admit that SD is doing anything wrong. She deflects all my attempts making excuses for her, or pointing out a flaw in me.
We still have a couple of months before the baby is due but it's my first so I'm a bit nervous. I asked DH what he was planning on doing with SS when we went into labor. I asked this because we had discussed the fact that SS might miss his visitation with BM since our due date lands near her weekend.
I bought everybody stuff for Valentine's Day...fh, my mom, my dad, etc...and I bought stuff for the skids. I got them big heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. It wasn't much...usually I do more but I've been pressed for time this year and short on cash.
We have a mediation date set for March 23rd in our quest to get SS 50/50 time. SS school was out Friday and Monday - teacher inservice and President Day. It was our weekend so our time was extended to both of those days. We got to pick SS up Thursday night and H and BM have talk about this again.
Here's the highlights:
Being new here, I was surprised at the vast differences in opinions about X communication: anywhere to feeling comfortable with a husband sleeping on the x's couch to having no communication at all and believing that the husband's new wife ruined the relationship between a father and his children. The first thing that I would like to say is DIVORCE ruins relationships within a family not new spouses. Although there are certainly justifiable reasons for divorce, to think that relationships will be easy has got to be a myth.
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