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KittyKat's picture

Well, we spent four awesome days in Cancun, no phone calls, just lots of sun and couple time. Much needed.

However, we weren't even off the PLANE when the "guilty daddy" returned, and I really don't know if I'm overreacting here or if this is just WEIRD.

Oldest SD (29) not only left her computer for daddy to fix (of course NEVER "have a great time, daddy", instead she MUST leave him something to do), but she also booked a trip to another part of Mexico with her husband for the same time. She won't go in the sun ever, so why would she do that??? Is she that jealous that daddy went away with another girl?

In addition, this same SD is obsessed with college basketball, so daddy has to be as well. We were still on the plane and daddy was calling the make sure the TV was set to record games that he wouldn't be home to see. I thought that was ridiculous, so of course I was "yelled at" for being a control freak "You can't tell me what games I can watch. If I want to watch college basketball, you can't tell me what to do!"

It had nothing to do with not watching bball....my God, we were still on the PLANE after a romantic weekend....will daddy be in TROUBLE if he misses another night of basketball because he was with another "girl"?? Can't he wait til TOMORROW night to watch basketball??? And why so DEFENSIVE???

I am so sick of all of this already. Right now, we are not talking because of something so ridiculous. It's like I had my weekend, and now he has to make it up to SD. (He spent nearly every minute since we got back watching BBall and fixing her computer.) I think it's weird. I'm sick of the stress.

A dear friend of mine had a stroke at age 54 from STRESS. She may never work again. I'm wondering if the stress I deal with, the freaking MIND GAMES, is worth it. I'll be damned if I'll allow these crazy SDs and their obsession with daddy affect my health. I'll leave first.

Comments

now4teens's picture

Well, KK, at least your weekend away was nice, right?
Baby steps.
But this co-dependency they have on each other is just too strange. I just don't get it. If this is the same SD that's married, what does HER husband think of the whole situation?

If I were him, I'd be a little weirded-out that my wife still has this unnatural attachment to her daady as well!
Did you ever have the nerve to bring it up to him???

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

and I can see this very thing continuing on with SD17 until I die.

Only I won't be there to see it. Because we just aren't going to last that long. I don't know how you've taken it all these years, without having an emotional breakdown.

I'm just sick about these fathers with their unnatural attachments with daughters. Sick about it and sick of it, and I've only been dealing with it for 10 months.

imagr8tma's picture

She is jealous daddy spent time with his wife on vacation and now she has to make up for the attention she lost.

I would not let it affect you personally and cause a lot of stress. If he cant see what it is doing to you.... Then you have to take care of yourself.

God forbid anything happened to you and he had to take care of you.

His precious evil daughter would make sure he had no time to make sure you were ok.

KittyKat's picture

I actually said that to him this morning. God forbid, if anything happened to me, I'd have to make sure I "planned" it when March Madness was over so SD didn't throw a tantrum.

I just want to add, I love basketball. I love all sports. I just don't let it RUN my life to appease SD. Daddy has become obsessed since our trip, and you're right. Daddy feels guilty that he went with ME.

The ironic thing is that when we WERE on vacation alone, he was telling me how we will get away together all the time, WE (H and I) are the most important thing in the world to him, yadda yadda. As soon as the plane touched down in the US, it's as if those words never existed. He just "snapped" back into daddy mode. Unreal.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

byebye's picture

D

byebye's picture

Why is it that some Daddy's and daughters have the same exact hobbies/tastes? DH loves playing poker, so does one of his daughters. DH loves boating, so does same SD. DH loves sitting in the sun, so does SD. DH HATES onions and most vegetables, so does SD!

Call me weird but I don't have any shared interests with my 80 year old dad from a completely different generation!

It's not so bad now that SD is married, she can now take on her husbands interests. KittyKat, can't believe your SD has a husband and is still acting like that!

KittyKat's picture

I'm not the only one that feels that way. The ONLY thing my dad and I have in common is that we're big tippers. I share none of his interests.

I agree that when you get married (I think that's right in the marriage vows), you let go of your parents and joint in union with your spouse. One SD can't get a husband for anything because she's so immature (28, BTW), and the 29 year old shares some interests with her H, but they have a strange marriage. Honestly, I don't expect it to last. Their latest project as a couple is that they're planning a family....I just don't see a lot of "joy" in their union (no laughter or joking around), just "duty". First they had the big wedding, then they had a barbeque at their house, now they're planning a family. Everything is very rote.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

madrastra's picture

to what you're saying about guilt for spending time together on the part of your husband. My partner does the same thing with our 13yo SD. I don't think she realizes she's playing into this guilt thing or letting herself be manipulated by SD. Anytime we do anything together it's like she has to "make up for it" because she didn't do something special that particular day with SD. Puke. I have a 12yo BS and do not have this kind of relationship with him so it's hard to understand. Is it just a thing with daughters?

October8's picture

Guilty over nothing.... To me it is somewhat amusing that my DH sees his overcompensating as a good thing. Ass if that proved that he is being a good father. I think that children and parents should have a good bond, like I do with my parents, but my parents would never allow me to overshadow their lives. They have 6 kids, all grown and 6 grandkids... so if I tried giving them drama they would more than likely laugh at me... MY dad and I talk about "the weather, politics, his health, and family" but I have no interest in playing poker or growing crops..

One can only hope!

ferretmom's picture

I had my H get me a new modem cable for my pc and he got sd one at the same time because she would get jealous at me for having something new. I didn't care until he made it out like he did it because I would be mad. WTF It's just a stupid cable. Sometimes I feel like if I had my appendix out sd would have to have her's removed. It all a big competition with them. Maybe I'll dye my hair purple just to see if she tries to do the same thing.

Tara12's picture

Hey chica! Well at least you had a nice vacation right. I agree with you my dad is almost 80 and I don't have a lot in common with him but I do love him and talk to him on the phone every couple of weeks. I have had my OWN life for years without depending on daddy to entertain me. i think you H is being an idiot and someone needs to hit him upside the head with that huge bag of rice that SW19 has been talking about. I would have been so pissed off having that nice vacation then him over there all of sudden can't wait to talk to SD. Yeah when he is old and in the rest home let's see if she shows up. GAG!!!