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For those of you who think you're a bad sm, here's how bad a bm can be...

lil_teapot's picture

Submitted by lil_teapot on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:41am

I bought everybody stuff for Valentine's Day...fh, my mom, my dad, etc...and I bought stuff for the skids. I got them big heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. It wasn't much...usually I do more but I've been pressed for time this year and short on cash.

So fh and I have a super time Friday night. We had our Valentine's day early because we were supposed to have the skids on the actual day (Funny how we always get skids on every holiday...I wonder how that happens???? {can you smell the sarcasm here?lol) Anyway, we had a wonderful, romantic night...better than we've had in a long while and it really helped bring us back together. It was amazing.

So next day we get skids in the a.m. (although we don't get to ever drop them off any time sooner than 5 p.m.). We had a nice breakfast together all of us, and I gave them their presents. They were actually really stoked about it. I wouldn't have imagined a 12 or 13 y.o. actually caring, but they've carried their boxes of chocolate around with them for the last 3 days now.

From what fh said, they had never gotten Valentine's day presents from their mom before...ever. I thought he was just kidding or confused...but nope, she'd never gotten them anything ever. They confirmed that by saying to me that nobody'd ever done that for them before.

Ok, not to sound all-that or anything, but who the hell wouldn't buy their own kids a little frikkin box of chocolates on Valentines' day?! My mom has gotten me something since I can remember, including Easter stuff...even when I got married. It's kind of a tradition in our house. I just cannot imagine being like the bm is...it's just so bizarre!

So anyways, for all of you who feel bad that you're not doing enough or not good enough, look at how crappy these bm's can be...how can we possibly be doing any worse?

Comments

BorBor's picture

Submitted by BorBor on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 11:53am

That is really nice, that Skids appreciated the chocolates and they will see what a good person you.
Maybe this will start a new tradition with them, and you are to thank.

lil_teapot's picture

Submitted by lil_teapot on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 1:50pm

I guess mostly I just feel sorry for them...I can't imagine being like that. Even though I don't have biokids, it just breaks my heart to see how any kid can be treated like that by their parent.

2Bloved's picture

Submitted by 2Bloved on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 12:15pm

"Ok, not to sound all-that or anything, but who the hell wouldn't buy their own kids a little frikkin box of chocolates on Valentines' day?!

Try someone whose only Christmas gift to them was a promise to the Build a Bear factory. Yup!! She promised them that. When did they finally go? They went Sunday. A month and a half later!! But they forgot that it was supposed to be their Christmas gift, and was bragging about how she got them the bears for Valentines Day. Bless their little misguided hearts.

lil_teapot's picture

Submitted by lil_teapot on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 1:43pm

See that is exactly what I'm talking about! These poor kids get such crap from their bm's that any little thing we do to acknowledge them is a checkmark in the plus column.
I just cannot get how someone could give birth to a child and not do all these little things...it just baffles me...

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 3:08pm

My SDs BM has never once gotten them things for any holiday. However, they do get loaded with presents from my family, BM's family, DH's family, and friends. I never understood how BM could do this, because my dad and mom both got me presents for all the holidays. I also didn't understand because with all we paid her in child support, surely she could afford to go out and at least get them something small!

WowjustWow's picture

Submitted by WowjustWow on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 1:59pm

My SD's never get anything on holidays from their mom. My family gets them Easter Baskets, Valentines candy, birthday, halloween, you name it! My parent's have been more of a grandparent to them then all of their real GP's combined!

I gave them their Valentine's gifts before school on Friday (they see BM on weekends - if they are not pawned off onto a friend's parents) and they acted confused. I had done this the past 2 years as well, but they apparently forgot. They always blame their lack of "holiday cheer" on the fact that their BM doesn't decorate for xmas or do anything for holidays, so they aren't used to it. It's so disheartening to me sometimes to try so hard to be jovial and "holidayish" and them be so uncaring about it.

Serena's picture

Submitted by Serena (not verified) on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 2:56pm

I never got my kids anything until I got married. Now we compromise with a small box of chocolates (I buy nothing for anyone because I hate Valentines Day, DH buys giant dump truck load of crap for everyone. I was okay with the compromise).

I never really thought I was heartless, I just think my kids have enough crap as it is. They get one present for their birthday and 8 or 10 for Christmas and that's it. Nothing for Easter except a bit of candy and maybe a little something (like a light up pen or a tiny stuffed dog or something). Even for their birthdays, they pick a charity and ask all the guests to bring something for the charity (like kitty litter for the animal shelter or something).

I did send them the $1 candy gram thing through the school, does that count? Wink

CJ's picture

Submitted by CJ (not verified) on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 3:20pm

Serena,

You are not a bad mom. You are teaching your children not to be materialistic little vultures. Bless you!