FH is having a breakdown
FH completely lost it last night. He freaked out about the skids and their irresponsibility and how demanding they are. He went off to work after a complete screaming tirade about them and a little about me, but then apologized to me, but kept up on them about how ungrateful they are and the whole thing.... He completely lost the plot.
So, during our convo I talked calmly to him about guilt parenting and all the stuff we talk about on here that bioparents do that makes us nuts, and subsequently affects their kids negatively. FH was taking it in during his screamfest...and when he calmed a little he absorbed more.
So, he made ME punish them last night. He declared no phones, internet or playing outside for the night...and made me enforce it. Frankly I felt it was unfair because what they did didn't warrant that type of punishment but I backed him and carried it through after he left. I had crying upset skids, and had to explain to them that dad is under heaps of stress because of his job, yadda yadda yadda--and that he has new rules we must follow because if we(them actually but I didn't want to say it in a way that would make them feel like I was pointing blame) can't follow the new house rules, they'd have to spend their time at their mom's and only see their dad EOW.
So I wound up having to drive across town to bring FH his dinner that he'd missed. The skids were on lockdown at home and were ok after we talked. FH had calmed down but realized he needs more therapy like NOWish, so he's going later this week after I get outta work. Hopefully he'll start taking more to heart of what the counselor said about guilt parenting and being less of a wuss in making them behave.
I'm not sure where we're going to go...if we'll stay together or not. I feel terrible for the skids...they've been through alot and frankly their behavior that causes fh so much trouble is his own doing. Hopefully therapy will help him see that and encourage him to do more parenting. Maybe we'll even start our family rule book we were supposed to do like 2 months ago.
Anyways, I'm hoping things start to change for the better now.
Thanks for letting me vent.