Not me too!!!!!!!!
I have always felt blessed that the BM in my life is generally not an issue. Oh sure, she neglects the hell out of the skids, can't manage her money, and is an overall loser, but she generally does not intrude on our relationship or my thoughts too often. Skids to go BMville every weekend, more like every other weekend lately.
SO and I are technically broken up, I gave him this year to fix his shit or I am OUT for good. We still "hang out" every week or two and talk or text almost every day.
BM works 2nd shift at a factory job and is horrible with managing her money. She announced last week that she was giving up her crappy 2 bedroom rental home and is moving in with her mother, who lives in a one bedroom apartment with cousin13, who just got out of a children's mental facility. So each weekend, the skids get to visit BM in a one bedroom apartment that will have 6 people in it. The skids are NOT happy about this. I have a feeling visits to BM will be getting fewer and fewer. She won't care, more bar time for her.
SD15 is going to prom. She's only a sophomore, but her BF is a junior. Last weekend, BM decided this was the perfect opportunity to be MOTY and insisted that the precious princess MUST have her hair and nails done, have an expensive dress with all the accessories, you get the idea. SD15 isn't really a girly girl, and could have cared less about this stuff, but BM got her all worked up about the things she just HAS to have. At first, SO was great, set the limits, put his foot down about what was going to be purchased and what was going to be spent, and if BM wants to pay for hair and nails, fine, but it's ALL on her. This really isn't SD's prom, anyway, she'll have 2 more when she is a junior and senior.
The shit kind of hit the fan last night cuz SD15 is trying to twist things around to suit BM, I mean SD. }:)
SO calls me wanting to know what he should do....BM is manipulating SD and getting everyone all worked up about this. Then he starts saying, "Well if BM wants to buy her a $300 dress, there's nothing really that I can do......"
And I saw RED as I saw his balls disappear into BMs Goach purse (that's a fake Coach purse). I hate hate hate when he does crap like this. There is nothing unsexier about a man than one who whines that he can't manage the women in his life, especially when one is a CHILD!!!
I said, "Yes, there is ABSOLUTELY something you can do. YOU are in charge. YOU have primary and physical custody. YOU are the one that takes care of the skids needs. If you set the rules and they are broken, then SD15 shouldn't go at all! Period.End.Dot. No arguing, no negotiating, no further explanation! SD knows the rules, if she uses BM as an excuse to break them, then no prom for her! Simple as that!"
Oh no, he can't put the pwecious pwincess in that position, she can't tell her mother NO, it's not fair to put her in the middle, yadda yadda.....OK, the girl is 15, not 5 and she damn well knows what she is doing, playing this game between the parents and it is up to YOU to put a stop to it!!!! I also told him that he needs to step up and lay down the rules, even if it means a confrontation, which SO always avoids at all costs, often to the detriment of the skids.
Then SO gets all pissy with me, "This is NOT the conversation I wanted to have." Boo hoo, cry me a river. I don't want to be with a balless wonder that caves everytime he has to wander out of his mental den of comfort. I want a MAN who STANDS UP and puts children and meddlesome ex-wives in their PLACE!!!!!
I told SO a few things afterwards when I had calmed down a bit.
1. I don't like the idea of this being the way things go for each special skid event. SD is only a sophomore and there are two younger skids not even in high school yet!!! That is a LOT of BM butting in deciding to play caring parent when she's absent the other 99% of the time.
2. BM should NOT be given free rein to play MOTY and do "fun" things while not being made to be responsible for any of the care or well-being of the skids. You know...all that annoying PARENTING stuff she never does **eyeroll**
3. If this is a sign of things to come, that is WAY more real estate that BM will take in our lives and in my mind and that is NOT OK.