Question for all the sport-familes(hockey, soccer, baseball, etc)
What is normal? Do step and bio parents attend sport functions (i.e. planning party at coach’s house)???
I just don’t know how this all works. The skids hockey coach is planning a party-thing at his house the 28th. It’s so all the new parents can meet the old and kind of lay out a guide for the coming season.
I’m upset because bm will be there…and to say we don’t get along is a vast understatement… My dilemma is how do I handle this “correctly”? So I'm asking you all...the Miss Manners of Step Parenting. lol
My fh has a habit of twisting things and trying to make me think I’m crazy, so his opinion on this is completely biased. He wants me to go with him and acts like it’s no big deal, I should be there, yadda yadda yadda. However, I personally feel sick inside over going and seeing 1)bm and 2)bm friends on the team. I’m sure there are some who dislike her or don’t care either way…but I feel sick about having to see her and her cronies.
My instinct is to not go. FH can go…I don’t care. But FH does care—he wants me to go…tired of going alone…blah blah blah.
Here’s my deal…in my mind, I’m the stepmom, who gives a rats azz if I’m there or not. As far as bioparents go, I don’t count/don’t matter. So I figure, I’ll go to a game or two during the season and if they wind up going to the championship, I’ll go to that. But all this day-in-day-out “sport lifestyle” crap…to me that’s the bioparent job, not mine. I mean if there were no bm…if she was out of the pic, of course I’d have to step up and go…but she’s alive and well (unfortunately) so she’ll be there. Plus fh really really wants me to go to all this stuff--he's trying to remake me into a hockeymom(step?). He wants us to do alot of this together as our "couples time". But to me, it's just cruel and unusual punishment to subject me to this kind of bm-stress when I've been very good the last couple months and don't deserve this kind of punishment.
So my question to all the sport-families out there…how much participation by me is really necessary? Like I say, fh twists and confuses things so he can get what he wants (which is to not go alone), and I am completely horrified/sickened at the thought of going(thanks to bm)…so we’re not able to see eye to eye at all.
Anyone have any kind of advice????