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Recent Blog Posts
He's out. They came and got him at 2:00 today, I sat with him in pre op until 6:00. Apparently the OR that he was going to be in was being used and it was a difficult operation going on. But he went back about 6 and the doc came out right after 8 and told us everything is great. He did good, he's out! If all goes well we can go home Tuesday or Wednesday. If it's Wednesday it'll be 15 days that we've spent in the hospital. Good grief, I can't wait to see my bed! But more important than anything, him and I get to see it together.
I am really, really p.o'ed right now. So, we (I) are filling out the non-custodial parent financial statement for OSD, who has applied early admission to a private college. Everything we (I) had read up to today regarding financial aid for kids of divorce has said that federal and state aid are calculated by taking the salary of the custodial parent, plus the amount of child support he/she receives from the NCP.
It appears that BM and her hubby's lifestyle of spend spend spend is finally catching up with them. For the past three years I have scratched my head and wondered how they were doing it...new cars...eating out every meal...new toys for the skids every time they went by her house. They had been getting a ton of child support from DH (we have 50/50 but DH made a lot more than BM at the time). After DH lost his job, BM ended up not only losing child support, but having to PAY support to us. Still they spent. Now all we hear from the skids is "mom has no money, mom can't afford xyz.
There's a lot of talk on this site about guilty parenting... guilty fathers, etc.
Do I believe in guilty parenting? YES
Do I think that there is a higher percentage of stepparents on this site that deal with significant others who are guilty parents? YES, this site definitely seems to attract Stepparents that need a place to vent and look for advice, so YES.
Do I think that our perception of guilty parenting is correct? NO... not always, I have to say.
I do think that some of our spouses / SO's are guilty of guilty parenting!! I do! But not always.
Bm has been telling my SS's for years thet when they turn 12 they can come live with her(they don't need a babysitter then) One SS 14 has already gone to her house and what a relief it has been on both Dh and myself. Tommorrow ss11 turns 12 and now I don't think, after months, and years of telling us that he is going to his Mothers, I don't think he is going to go!!! I'm sorry but I really want him to go!!
Does anyone have any experience with disengaging? Are there tips? I keep reading that it is a wonderful place to be. However, I continue to feel betrayed by DH when he makes plans for his adult children. This includes dinners out and so on. He always includes their "partners." The reason I am trying to disengage is that I have been repeatedly excluded by them. Not to mention the persistent outright rudeness. So, it was the only defence mechanism available. Are there techniques anyone has used to get to the point of not caring? I keep feeling hurt. Advice?
Ok he's been home for 3 weeks now and so far I have to say that it has been an adjustment here with fss.. I mean the boy bitches about everything as far as my bio son goes. He cant do his homework because bio is talking too loud, he cant eat his snacks because of bio wants some. Well the last time I looked it was about being a blended family here and we all pull our weight.. I dread next weekend as we are going on a trip to see my family and really dread the 9 hours on the road with both boys.Too bad I cant take a bottle of rum and coke with me for the ride. LOL...
I make it a point not to judge anyone here. Because there was a time that I hated SD's. I hated the thought of being around them, when they would come I would cringe, I took everything they did as bad, always a challenge, etc. I found this site and I got advice, I learned, I took it to heart and I changed my situation. My relationship with my YSD 15 is one that is unbreakable now. No matter what ever happens she will always be a part of my life, because I honestly love her. My OSD 21, I can't say love is there, but I respect and like her. She does the same for me.
This is a continuation from a post I had a couple of weeks ago about me buying a new home for my family and giving my SD the small bedroom because she did not deserve the big bedroom, that MY daughter got. Anyway my wife approached me last night and said she really wanted to talk to me about this and I said what is there to talk about. She said she understood that SD has been doing everything wrong and especially about the lying in court and how I should be upset with her but that she feels she is at fault for raising her this way to which I said..."It is both you and her fathers fault".
Hi, I would love some advice please...
I am a 22 year old girl and have been with my male partner of 1.5 years. He has a 3 year old boy with his ex-wife. He only sees his boy for anywhere between half an hour to 6 hours one day a week. This is due to the mood his ex-wife is in.
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