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Quick history: SD is 27YO and living on her own. I take care of presents to in laws, family and friends. DH gets upset because I just sign our names to the card and I do not include SD's name. I get stubborn and say - okay you take care of it then and then I feel like crap. MIL's birthday is coming up - so I know that we are going to have the same argument.
Am I being small minded and selfish here? Be honest - I can take it.
I live with my husband of 3 yrs and his kids SS18 and SD14 full time because they chose to live with their dad. BM lives 5 min away but is a no show. She pays no child support based on their divorce agreement. Skids see her once a month if lucky. So I have been the one taking care of them, cooking, cleaning and driving them around all these years. I do not like my Skids and have had a hard time. I often wish we had shared custody so I can have time to myself and be alone with my husband. I resent the BM for having all her freedom and new husband to be alone with.
Just a thought, maybe some of you ladies can tell me what happened for you.. As you know me and BF have been together a little more than a year.. He is finally divorced now.. He always says how unhappy he was with BM/EW and they married for all the wrong reasons (her gettin knocked up after like 2 months of dating) he says how amazing I am, independent, works hard, beautiful, smart, great cook, wonderful with his kids and so on... He always talks about the future.. And where he wants us to move and all these things.. But is he saying this to make me happy?
Is it wrong that the weekend is coming up and I'm not excited because I know SS15 will be there yet again with nothing but stories about how step dad on other side is a dork? How do I politely get SS15 to stop talking about the other side? He's always talking about his mom and step dad and the things they do - good and bad. I hate listening about the other side and it irritates me to hear how they need this and that and BM won't buy them because she doesn't have any $$. EXCUSE ME - we pay you good child support money - where the hell does that go?!?!
I am soooooo angry. This is why: My mom phoned me this morning (she lives far away from us, a good 8 hour drive by car) and I needed to find a document amongst my filing to help her with something. My stuff is kept in boxes in the garage and outbuildings. Since we moved 18 months ago, I have never unpacked it or ever even looked at it, as i have had no need to. I also had a box of old clothes which don't fit, but that I was hoping to get into sometime.
So first of all, I had yesterday off (which I usually don't) So BF wanted me to ride with him out to BMs to pick up the kids.. As we were getting ready to leave BM texts BF and asks if her can pick her up some liquor! Wtf?! Not the first time she has asked either.. Mind you its like 2 in the afternoon... So I was pissed that we had to go get this shit for her.. Like, why can't she drive her scanky ass to the store after we pick up the kids.. WHATEVER!!
DF said "Dammit" last night when he dropped something, which led into a conversation with SD5 about swearing. She knows it is a swear word, and she timidly said, "Mommy and Grandma say REALLY bad words." Of course this led DF to ask for more specifics. It took a while because SD5 didn't want to actually say the words since she knows it's wrong for her to do so, but we finally deduced that BM and her mother often refer to each other in person as F***-Sticks. We later decided to see what the status of BM's job promotion was, as she was bound to post it on Facebook.
I shouldn't do anything: he ignores Mother's Day because SD and I are estranged and he thinks that it is up to me to fix it. But I'll probably cave...I will get DH a card thanking him for what he does around the house etc, probably bring him coffee and muffin in bed.
Then....I leave. I am not going to be around and see him wait for the phone to ring or call his daughter and leave message after message. I can't stand to see him suffer and see him subject himself to this abuse.
My step son has an abusive passed by his mother’s bf, so he came to live with us 2 yrs ago. We have been together for 6yrs and everything was great. SS also ADHA and anxiety problems which he is on meds for. My SS hates me and treats my daughter like crap. Recently it went to far when he tried to choke her and then break her arm. A family member watches the kids after school for me and was able to break them up but alls his dad did was make an appointment to take him to the doctor and yelled at him for what he did.
I have a friend at work who's wife is expecting their first child....he was commenting on how things were really changing. I told him that probably his biggest adjustment would be learning to be second. I told him that when you have a child with your SO you learn to be second.....when you marry someone who has a child with someone else....you learn to be LAST. 
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