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Happy Mother's Day!

glynne's picture

To all the SM's out there - have a wonderful Mother's Day. If you aren't recognized and respected for all your parenting efforts - take the day to treat yourself. Step parenting is a tough and often unrewarding responsibility and you owe it to yourself to recognize and reward yourself:

S pa
T reats
E asy does it
P edicure
M anicure
O ne wish fulfilled
M assage

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Birthday Dinner Update

glynne's picture

Hi,
I blogged here some weeks ago and asked for advice about my husband's birthday dinner and should I include SD. She and I have been estranged for several years now and last time I included her in a dinner she was rude to me in front of my guests. Your advice to me was to be nice and have DH invite her since it was his birthday. FYI - DH asked if I would personally invite her but I said no on that one: I personally invited her last time, she was rude and DH did not stand up for me.

What do you think?

glynne's picture

My problem is minor compared to many of you on this site but I am looking for objectivity here. I disengaged from SD about 7 years now - she is 28. In the past she was included in family holiday dinners that I prepared but that stopped over a year ago. I think it was Father's Day or Easter of 2009 - I prepared a nice dinner, invited friends over and per my DH's request personally invited SD to dinner. She came.

Forgive and forget?

glynne's picture

I don't think so! Brief history: I've disengaged from SD28 and DH & I haven't spoken to or interacted with BM since SD turned 18. BM worked hard to turn SD against DH and almost suceeded. We found out that BM told SD that DH gave her an STD and that is why she divorced DH. The truth is that BM was secretly engaged while married to DH, DH found out and they divorced. DH told SD the truth after she turned 21. During the times that we had to interact with BM it was hell.

I am not going to say ONE word

glynne's picture

Except here on ST. I haven't posted in awhile but need to decompress and vent a little. Brief history: Married 18 years, 27 YO SD and I are estranged with a distant and polite relationship. SD has been attending college since she was 18 - no degree as of yet and is now on her 3rd or 4th (I've lost count) attempt at a degree or certification. Earlier this year DH co-signed a loan to pay for SD's latest attempt: nursing program.

Steptalking

glynne's picture

Steptalk...a place to vent.

When I first found this site - I came on here and vented about my SD, called her few names, complained about my DH and called him a few names too. Thankfully, no one told me that I shouldn't have married my DH or that I hated my SD and that I was a terrible person with misplaced priorities.

Instead, users wrote me and told me how they had felt the same way, what worked for them in my situation and that I wasn't the selfish bitch that I felt I was.

He needs a set....

glynne's picture

Many of the recent posts have been about birth parents (primarily DH's, BF's) inability to parent their kid(s).

What are they so afraid of? That their children won't like them? We all hear the same excuses over and over. The kids has been through so much with the divorce, their ex mistreats the child, guilt parenting, PAS parenting. I STILL hear it from my DH and my SD is 27 YO! :jawdrop:

Is this a step in the right direction?

glynne's picture

I don't know anymore.

27 YO SD has a new major - this will be her 4th (I think) Nursing. So okay - I've disengaged and none of my business, right?

I assumed that DH was paying for it. What I've found out is that DH has co-signed loan papers so that SD can quit work (waitress job) and attend school full time. DH also told me that SD is getting grants to fund this next endeavor. When I asked if SD had been accepted to the nursing program yet - DH didn't know for sure. But he signed loan papers????

Am I being petty?

glynne's picture

Quick history: SD is 27YO and living on her own. I take care of presents to in laws, family and friends. DH gets upset because I just sign our names to the card and I do not include SD's name. I get stubborn and say - okay you take care of it then and then I feel like crap. MIL's birthday is coming up - so I know that we are going to have the same argument.

Am I being small minded and selfish here? Be honest - I can take it.

My Father's Day Plans.....what are your's?

glynne's picture

I shouldn't do anything: he ignores Mother's Day because SD and I are estranged and he thinks that it is up to me to fix it. But I'll probably cave...I will get DH a card thanking him for what he does around the house etc, probably bring him coffee and muffin in bed.

Then....I leave. I am not going to be around and see him wait for the phone to ring or call his daughter and leave message after message. I can't stand to see him suffer and see him subject himself to this abuse.

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