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Am I being petty?

glynne's picture

Submitted by glynne on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:23pm

Quick history: SD is 27YO and living on her own. I take care of presents to in laws, family and friends. DH gets upset because I just sign our names to the card and I do not include SD's name. I get stubborn and say - okay you take care of it then and then I feel like crap. MIL's birthday is coming up - so I know that we are going to have the same argument.

Am I being small minded and selfish here? Be honest - I can take it.

Comments

HennyPen's picture

Submitted by HennyPen on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:26pm

She's 27 and living on her own..she's an adult and independent. I don't see why you would sign her name, she is able to purchase gifts/cards herself if she chooses to do so. she's an adult for gods sake.

I'd just go get a gift from you and a card from you alone, and let DH send his from him and SD if he is that set on it.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:29pm

I am 28 and living on my own. I would never ask my parents to sign my name for something unless I pitched in for it. She should be buying her own gifts and cards.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:30pm

She can buy her own card....WTF...she is grown. Your DH needs to realize that his little girl is all grown up. Two separate units....two cards JMO

Shannon61's picture

Submitted by Shannon61 on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:35pm

I agree with the others.

My SD (26) still lives with us and when I mail cards, etc. (which I do often), I never sign her name. She's an adult and can purchase/send her own cards.

glynne's picture

Submitted by glynne on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:46pm

You know Steperg, I do sign MIL's card from our cats also. Smile My question seemed silly to ask but I'm glad that I did. You get so use to being the bad guy and being blamed for SD not being part of the family - I guess I just fed into the dysfunction. The honesty and clarity I receive here is what is so great about this site.

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 1:47pm

No way. She wants adult status without the responsibility? No way. As an adult, it's her responsibility to either buy a gift or not ... from herself.

Angel's picture

Submitted by Angel on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 2:11pm

Don't argue or ask permission----------nor be told what to do.

You take care of your side of the relatives, he does his side. That way, he can sign the card with her name.

As you get older these things have to be worked out so that you can have peace. When hubby does something for me, I never tell him how he didn't do it right. If I don't like the way he does it, I will politely do it myself AND VICE VERSA.

So is he your boss or your loving husband?

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 2:20pm

I'm 24 and my parents don't sign my name to gifts. I have my own money-if I want my name on a gift, I'll buy it and write it on there. Gravy train is over.

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 2:56pm

No you are not. Stuff like that stops when you move out. She needs to buy her own gift.

glynne's picture

Submitted by glynne on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 3:28pm

Now Steperg,

LOL. With your diet - I'd miss my DH. I do love the guy - he just has this HUGE blindspot when it comes to his daughter. Anyway, with my luck I'd just have an overweight couch potato on my hands!

Bettina's picture

Submitted by Bettina on Thu, 06/03/2010 - 7:06pm

What a BRAT!

Ok so here is what I would do since she is grown and on her own.

Go to SD and say "hey, your Dad told me that you were upset that
your name wasnt on the card to so and so with the gift." " I am sorry Sweetie, I didnt realize that you wanted to go in on the present with us." "Next time I will let you know so that we can go in on it together"