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:? 
I don't even know if I can pull off disengaging in my situation. :?
I have FSD6, I don't agree with the way that she is being raised, and it has me feeling like I want to pull my hair out by the handful at times.
Which I've formulated over 25 years of being in them (first as a SD and now as a SM):
It's a miracle DH and I never got divorced.
Humans are the only species I know of that haveblended families. We're the species that deals with child support, kids splitting time between homes, different rules in different homes, and most importantly, stepparents.
Most species just have two parents: mom and dad. Even we as humans are wired to think of mom and dad as our only two parents. So when w stepparent comes along, its not natural.
We are picking up SD early today, by prior arrangement for family events.
So DH texts SD to tell her we will pick her up at 12:30. SD texts back and says "Can you pick me up at [city name] hospital?"
Things in the house seem to really be settling down. Even skid#2 is managing not to get himself grounded again (he has been ungrounded for 5 days now). Chores are done on time and without reminders, grades have significantly improved especially for skid#1, she currently has A/B honor roll and is working her butt off to keep it until the end of the quarter. Tuesday she called my younger brother for help with a school project that's worth a lot of points. When I got home from work my brother was here teaching her how to use excel to do formulas to help with the project.
So, my step son decided he would literally start a fight with my husband because he was angry with him. He and my husband got into a fight and my step son put two whole in the wall of my apartment. This is the mild version of the story. (Some already know it)After my husband and I sat down and had a long discussion with about his behavior and his disrespect. During the conversation I said to my husband and step son, who is 16, that he had to work off the wholes in the wall. But, over the last few days my husband has not preferred any of my suggestions.
So I'm trying this disengage thing with my SS13. Seams to be a popular word around this site. I'm finding thou that it's harder then it sounds. I have always tried to be a part of, to show that I was capable of being a trusting adult / friend to my SS13. He has always from day one not been fond of me. Tonight he us here and I tried to disengage and what little I said to him I was told by DH that my 'tone' is angry. Even if I'm not saying something mean. It's so hard for me to try and be happy in my home, act normal, have a pleasant tone but also disengage ..
I envy all you SM's who only have to deal with ur skids eow. SD13 has been at her moms since thursday and will be coming back tomorrow. It seems so unfair. On days when I do have the pleasure of not having to deal with her, the time just flies. And yet ALL the other days just seem to drag. Her nasally voice echos in my head. Once SD gets back from BM's place tomorrow she doesn't go back again for 3 weeks...that means NO break from this spawn for 3 WHOLE WEEKS!!
Bm texted AGAIN! This time she wanted to know if he was sure he wanted the kids. He said YES for sure he wants them.
She then texted back about 20 min later and said that they were with her aunt and she was not making her drive to the drop off point b.c it was out of her way. Dh told her that it was not out of her way as the drop off point is on their way to her house!
She then texted back that "someone with straight A's I can come up with some good ones. Ok she will be there.
it works like this, you come to my house- if you are part of the family you work along side of us. This will mean everything from cleaning a toilet to fixing farm fence. Do it right the first time, and you won't be asked to do it again. If you do the work, that means that when you are here you will enjoy the privilege of an occasional movie, going out to eat, an outfit/ shoes/ or sporting equipment of what you want, instead of what is bought by BM.
H is at his daytime weekend work and I just happen to get this day off. Usually he takes her with him when its his weekends with her because I have work. But hes omly been gone 2 hrs and shes already up my butt wanting me to play with her! Lol thank god my mom (sd calls her grandma lol) is here too and doesnt mind watching her while I try to do some schoolwork. But shes 7 shouldnt she be able to self entertain for atleast an hour?! She can when h is here... Maybe she thinks me and grandma are pushovers haha shes got another thing coming if she thinks im going to be her playmate all day.