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SS10 had his appt at the hospital today for the lump on his neck. They think it's just a cyst, but he's going for a scan tomorrow to be sure. That's one big sigh of relief as both BM & I had got ourselves a bit worked up about what it might be (perhaps we have more in common than I like to think!)
Hello friends!
Just a quick FYI that I'll be absent for awhile. My mother is still having some issues with regards to her health. Last Mon. night she fell in a store parking lot, was taken to the ER, & numerous tests were done to her. The doctors felt it was her insulin going haywire. She's been on oral meds for awhile & they weren't helping, so Dr. put her on insulin...but then she wasn't being monitored closely enough that he was taking her off any of her oral meds, so she was getting too much.
We have the new kind of family mine, his and ours. We have been together for 8 years with a six year old together, I also have a 15 yr old daughter that lives with us at all times, and he has a 12 year old son that only comes over for christmas', he doesn't live far from us but don't like to come over due to my rules and his dad doesn't push the issue, I am trying to get a budget together for the kids, but do I have to spend the same on him? My family don't even know him cause he's never around at first I felt bad about them not getting him anything, but now I know how they feel.
He's out. They came and got him at 2:00 today, I sat with him in pre op until 6:00. Apparently the OR that he was going to be in was being used and it was a difficult operation going on. But he went back about 6 and the doc came out right after 8 and told us everything is great. He did good, he's out! If all goes well we can go home Tuesday or Wednesday. If it's Wednesday it'll be 15 days that we've spent in the hospital. Good grief, I can't wait to see my bed! But more important than anything, him and I get to see it together.
I am really, really p.o'ed right now. So, we (I) are filling out the non-custodial parent financial statement for OSD, who has applied early admission to a private college. Everything we (I) had read up to today regarding financial aid for kids of divorce has said that federal and state aid are calculated by taking the salary of the custodial parent, plus the amount of child support he/she receives from the NCP.
It appears that BM and her hubby's lifestyle of spend spend spend is finally catching up with them. For the past three years I have scratched my head and wondered how they were doing it...new cars...eating out every meal...new toys for the skids every time they went by her house. They had been getting a ton of child support from DH (we have 50/50 but DH made a lot more than BM at the time). After DH lost his job, BM ended up not only losing child support, but having to PAY support to us. Still they spent. Now all we hear from the skids is "mom has no money, mom can't afford xyz.
There's a lot of talk on this site about guilty parenting... guilty fathers, etc.
Do I believe in guilty parenting? YES
Do I think that there is a higher percentage of stepparents on this site that deal with significant others who are guilty parents? YES, this site definitely seems to attract Stepparents that need a place to vent and look for advice, so YES.
Do I think that our perception of guilty parenting is correct? NO... not always, I have to say.
I do think that some of our spouses / SO's are guilty of guilty parenting!! I do! But not always.
Bm has been telling my SS's for years thet when they turn 12 they can come live with her(they don't need a babysitter then) One SS 14 has already gone to her house and what a relief it has been on both Dh and myself. Tommorrow ss11 turns 12 and now I don't think, after months, and years of telling us that he is going to his Mothers, I don't think he is going to go!!! I'm sorry but I really want him to go!!
Does anyone have any experience with disengaging? Are there tips? I keep reading that it is a wonderful place to be. However, I continue to feel betrayed by DH when he makes plans for his adult children. This includes dinners out and so on. He always includes their "partners." The reason I am trying to disengage is that I have been repeatedly excluded by them. Not to mention the persistent outright rudeness. So, it was the only defence mechanism available. Are there techniques anyone has used to get to the point of not caring? I keep feeling hurt. Advice?
Ok he's been home for 3 weeks now and so far I have to say that it has been an adjustment here with fss.. I mean the boy bitches about everything as far as my bio son goes. He cant do his homework because bio is talking too loud, he cant eat his snacks because of bio wants some. Well the last time I looked it was about being a blended family here and we all pull our weight.. I dread next weekend as we are going on a trip to see my family and really dread the 9 hours on the road with both boys.Too bad I cant take a bottle of rum and coke with me for the ride. LOL...