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Recent Blog Posts
After reading the letter that SD21 wrote to DH, I've been taking a close, hard look at our situation.
I asked DH to please, PLEASE tell me what I did to make SD21 so angry with me. He thought about it at work all day Monday and can't come up with anything. I've racked my brain to try to figure this out, too. Can't figure it out. The bitterness she expressed in her letter is very upsetting and very hurtful. So I'm trying to figure out a way to improve this situation.
HELP! Does anyone else deal with any of these problems with the BM and if so how do you handle them?
Bribing the children to stay at her home and giving them guilt trips if they come to our home.
Discussing legal proceedings with the children regarding out petition to modify and gain full custody of the kids.
Telling the kids, their teachers and others that the kids have various mental illnesses and disabilities and then "treating" them for her made up diagnoses.
BM refuses to work and lives off of child support.
DH and I pay 50/50 for everything. House, house bills, groceries…yada, yada, yada. But I don’t want to pay half for groceries anymore.
My daughter works full time and goes to school full time. My son works part time, school full time and plays baseball year round. No school for summer right now) They eat at our house MAYBE 2 time a month. That is not bending the truth. My daughter may eat fruit if I buy it. Neither one of them eats breakfast and are only here for dinner maybe once every few weeks. No lunches ever. They are usually not there for that either.
So after all the talk on her about "priority's" I am going to send my BF and email and ask him to rank things how he sees them. I am thinking about putting this down. Not in any particular order on here.
Kids
Job
Family
Partner
Self
Am I missing anything?
I have been a step parent for the last 3 years. I know that this is not as long as a lot of you on here. I know that we have all had different struggles that have brought us to where we are now. I know that a lot of you wonderful step parents have been through a lot and that at some point it all became a little too much to deal with. Everyday brings new struggles and problems to deal with. We all know that our husbands/wifes had a life before us, it makes it harder when we have to see a constant reminder of that everyday…the child(ren).
How many of you are step-children? What kind of relationship do you have with your step-parents?
After weeks of flipping back and forth between a raging psycho and whispering sweet nothings via text, attempting to get my BF to go back to her, BM sends my BF this text, "i always thought you and her were good together. tell her I said congratulations". BF started to reply to it when I said PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND STEP AWAY! lol. That comment is a disaster waiting to happen.
I'd like to get some advice/thoughts from all of you out there. I'm getting married to a man in 2 1/2 weeks. We've been dating for 7 years and living together for 3. We share the house with my 9 yr old daughter. He has a 19 yr old attending college who lives with her mom. My daughter hasn't seen her father (his choice) in about 1 1/2 years. Last year on Father's Day, my BF spent the entire day at an amusement park with his daughter and mine spent it with me. I felt really bad for her so I asked BF if, from now on, he could include her in Father's Day activities and he agreed.
I read the book, "Divorce Poison", & found it very helpful...not so much in solving the PAS problems in our situation, as I believe skids have fallen much too deep into it for any resolve to be possible right now. I think the only hope we have will come as they grow & experience life themselves.
I have been wanting to find a book, maybe about adults who were victims of PAS as children, where maybe it would discuss them realizing that they were PAS'd, & how they came to realize it.
I got a new attitude....
and several other happy little songs. Rather than continuing to fuss at BF for not taking matters into his own hands with BM, or waiting on BM to do what she needs to do, I've decided to change my approach. I will calmly, quietly, and respectfully make my requests of him, give him a reasonable amount of time to deal with it with BM, and then if he doesn't, I will do so myself. (I'm referring to boundary and respect matters, not matters with the kids.) And I made my first step this morning.
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