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Recent Blog Posts
Saturday morning we had my husband's parents over for brunch. After we ate, SD9 wanted to open her presents (her birthday was earlier this month). So SD9 opened them with her back towards me & did not show me any of the gifts. And she complained because she didn't get much. (We gave her her presents back in July, so this was just stuff from the grandparents & my husband's sister.) As soon as the presents were opened, she went down to her bedroom. At one point, I heard my FIL asking SD9 some basic questions. She completely ignored him.
Ok, I feel very stupid in asking how to deal with this, but I am really not sure with how things are in my relationship with my SD11. Here goes... Over the last couple of weeks, I feel a competition brewing between the two of us on who sits on the couch next to FH. I know it sounds stupid, but FH always sits on one side of the couch. Either SD11 or I sit on the other side. Last week, I sat there and she sat on the floor next to the couch on the side of her father where I could not see her. The minute I got up to do something, she jumped quickly to the couch.
I'll stick to talking about this recent situation making me "loose it" because telling my whole stroy would take much more time than I actually have to spare for the day...o.k. Global portrait: Boyfriend and I have been together 4 years now. We are very stable, never change the routine with kids, respect BM's time with the kids etc...I have to tell you a bit about BM so that you can understand were we are coming from.
People "think" that SS9 has A.D.H.D., when he really just has B.R.A.T. SD13 is an entitled, sassy little shit. Want to throw fits, cry like babies, ruin my things, spend my money? The parties over you little shits, I don't care what you think of me, go ahead and hate me, believe me the feeling is mutual. And for DH, you would be best served to remember "happy wife, happy life" of that you can be sure.
First & foremost, it was NOT a very fun weekend. It started with my husband, his father & stepmother, and I going to pick-up SD9. (Remember, this is after BM has had SD9 for an entire month!) We met at the place BM requested, which was right across from her boyfriend's place. (I wanted to kick my husband for agreeing to this, but oh well.) So we get there & park. I see BM's car coming within 5 minutes. One thing though...she was coming from the opposite direction that she should have come from.
My Bkids have been complaining to their grandma off and on, and I was aware of the situtuation, but it's difficult to find a quick-fix
We are trying to get custody of SS which will be another issue altogether, but my biokids are feeling overwhelmed and annoyed because:
SS- is very loud
SS- demands constant attention every waking moment
SS- springs around the house like a pinball machine
SS- is very behind developmentally
SS- is baby'd and extermely babyish
The world is revolving around SS literally and my kids are PISSED
From my experience, when I feel like DH is taking sides with his daughter (not often at all) is like I resent taking care of her, I'm not affectionate at all, let alone loving.
When I feel that he is putting me and our marriage first, and that he shows her that we are a team, I happily provide my love, energy and time for her. Is like, I automatically feel like since we are taking care of her as a "team", I should put my part. NO RESENTMENT or anything, it just feels like a healthy family to me.
I've seen a LOT of posts on here from women who feel they are in situations that are just horrible, or abusive, or just plain old BAD... but they can't seem to leave. They can't leave because of money, because of insecurity, children, a number of reasons...
I met DH in 2002. We moved in together in 2003. We started getting SD 50/50 or more in 2004.
I feel like my BF is ... a little too dependant on BM. He looks for her to keep him on track with doc appointments, football schedules (both SS's play football), parent teacher conferences, EVERYTHING and I believe that these are things that he should have his OWN schedule for. He should be able to schedule doc appointments(since they are on his health ins), he shouldn't have to call her to see what time SS6's football game is or if SS12's game is cancelled because of rain! He should have his own damn schedule!
I have been reading more and more of the step parent sites and blogs, and have noticed the increasing use of abbreviations. I see that StepTalk.org has a decoder:
• sm = stepmother
• sd = stepdad
• bm = biological mother
• bf = usually biological father but every now and then some use for boyfriend
• sd = step daughter
• ss = step son
• bs = biological son
• bd = biological daughter
• dw = darling wife
• dh = darling husband
• dd = darling daughter
• ds = darling son
• poa = power of attorney
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