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Just a head's up that our comments here show up in google searches...I was a bit worried, although I don't post specific things w/names, etc...but still, it could be found...so just a head's up to everyone...not sure if StepTalk can do anything to prevent this...I think most of us come here to vent, and did not expect everyone to find our comments unless they specifically know about this site...
Today it is just me and the little guy.
DH took our oldest to an event.
What to do what to do ....
Maybe we will tinker in the garden or the kitchen.
Either way, its certain to be an excellent day.
I find myself wondering more and more why the hell I have to be the strong one? The understanding, patient, stern, loving, accommodating, calm, etc, etce-te-flippin-ra! I don't even know how to describe what happened tonight. I suppose I should start with what's on my mind right now. Bio daughter18. We have always had a very special relationship. I don't play favotites, she is just really easy to be around.
Hi all.. Want to start off by saying I support my step daughter going to school and following a career. My problems started a few years ago before my husband and I were married. As soon as we got engaged her then boyfriend told me she wasn't happy about it. Our wedding day s/d cried her eyes out flat out telling me "her dad said he wouldn't get married again" making as much as she could about her. There have been issues with vehicles,home (the house) and of course money.
I'm serious, both of us have had it with our oldest. She is his daughter and we both believe she needs a bootcamp or military school, but we want one that is safe for teen girls. Any suggestions? We're concerned about the impact she is having on his younger daughter who is 11 years old. The one we want in a bootcamp is 14 years old.
The last time we went didn't go so well. We ended up shouting at each other. You see the bottom line is DH says he "doesn't like being told what to do" however he has no problem telling me what I'm going to do. Is that how a relationship is supposed to work? Of course not but he is too self centered to realize that I get an opinion too. OK, I'll admit we have great days and awful days, any disagreement we've ever had have to do with BM and SD, funny about that isn't it?
Ok, here's where I need help, I'll try to keep it brief.
Being a stepmom is a thankless job. You're like a glorified babysitter but without the pay, while the actual mom pretty much gets paid to take care of her own kids. You get to cook and clean and wash and help with homework. You have to give love freely while expecting none in return. You have to treat them as if they were your own kids but you can't actually dress/feed/discipline/etc. them as if they were your own. You don't get a weekend off, while the actual mom gets every weekend off.
So would most of you describe your relationship with your stepkids as good? I am asking because mine sucks. The sad thing is it that the skid and I could have a great relationship but she won't allow it. She is just mean and hurtful simply for the sake of being hurtful. I know that when most people behave like this it is because they are lashing out as a result of their own pain. It is really hard to be sympathetic to that when you are the one on the receiving end of it...ya know?
I gave her plenty of chances to tell her father about what has been going on and she never did it. I couldn't take it anymore and told him myself. He was completely on board with me and totally agreed with me. He confronted her about it at dinner. He told her that she had better not ever say a word about me hating her again and that she should be thankful to me for trying to help her and for caring about her enough to make sure that she stays safe.
Okay, since today has been a pretty depressing stepfamily news day (see blogs below about 12 year-old stepson killing his stepmom, and then the stepmom who killed her stepson), I'm gonna spread some hearts and flowers to counteract it: