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Recent Blog Posts
There is so much feeling in music. It can feed your soul if you let it. You hear a song and it takes you back to a time, usually associated with the feelings you were experiencing at that time. Sometimes music can stir in you the feelings you WANT to experience. Let me explain what I mean. There was a time in my life that I wanted to put together certain parts of certain movies to explain how I wanted to feel with that someone special. Think back to the first time you saw the movie Set It Off.
Well, there's the universal way, but don't you ever think "WTF was he thinking?!?!?" If they weren't marrried...did she say she was on the pill, was it in the heat of the moment, was it a "I miss you f*ck," etc....
In my case, it was an "I miss you f*ck" that knocked BM up. What the hell was DH thinking back then..UGH! This could of all been prevented...then I go into "what-if" mode...if SD wasn't born, her and my now DH wouldn't of fought (he left because they argued too much), and maybe SD would of ended up being born anyways...digressing.
SD16 returned to BM in mid January and so far the crisis phone calls are not as frequent. SD16 was home about 3 days and BM called saying she was out of control and had taken off to her boyfriend's apt. He is 20 and a HS dropout. Two weeks ago SD16 and BM had another blowup and she moved into his apt. BM took away SD's car and computer( it's about time to begin acting as a parent!)DH tried calling her but she wouldn't answer so he turned off her cell phone which we have been paying for.
I could ask our lawyer but she's out of town.
My DH didn't know that SS was his son until SS was 5 years old, before than BM told some other guy that he was the father and took that guy to court for child support and put this other guys name on the birth certificate.
It wasn't until my DH saw SS for the first time that he knew that he was his son (they look alike) and he forced BM to let him do a paternity test. Of course it turned out that SS was his son.
I got an email from BM the other day thanking me for taking care of some business and for the great time SS 15 had at Christmas with me and the DH - she went on & on about how he still talks about it every day, blah blah blah.
But seeing her name in my inbox made my skin crawl! It may as well have said, "You've got mail! From: Satan, Lord of Darkness Re: Your Eternal Damnation 
"
I have a SD, 16, that thinks she can rule the house. Now my DH normally lets her get away with everything. But let me tell you never give up hope finally after 11 years of hell, she has shown her true colors to DH. I go to college at night, to complete my BA, but mainly so I don't have to go home and deal with the SD. She told her Auntie last summer that her main mission in life was to come between me and DH so that she could get what she wants all the time.
Yes, I am still alive for all who were wondering. Here are some updates on what's been going on in my life these past several months!
It is the day we are to get SS so BM and SD can go get their hair done. We have religious committments we go to tonight and BM is to pick up SS from where we are on her way home. Here comes the anxiety. I asked DH what was the deal with tonight, as I usually pick up SS from school and bring him home, fed him, and get him dressed before we go. On a side note, I have asked that SS be dressed in decent clothes because of where we go on Thursday nights. Last time she sent him in her football team t-shirt and holy (no pun intended) jeans.
Now I know that DH needs to communicate with BM, but when she tries to make the conversation long and personal it's aggrevating. I'd rather chew on a piece of tinfoil then have DH have any contact with THE THANG, as he calls her. That's all I have to say about that. You guys may not know, but I have been taking classes for real estate appraisal. Took my exam today. Everybody cross their fingers. I'll let you know if I passed or not.
Today when I was lying awake at 5:00am because DH's alarm went off and I couldn't fall back asleep (again), I was remembering when I was only awakened by MY alarm clock at 6:30am every morning....not twice every morning. I'm all about moving forward, but today I'm just going to complain because I feel like it. So here's my "I miss" list from the days before I married DH:
I miss...
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