Something terrible happened last night.

My closest friend at work lost her fiance' to suicide.

By way of background, I came to this site because she introduced me to it. She and her fiance' were having a lot of problems with the fiance's son's BM. She wouldn't let him see his son...all she wanted was the CS. Now this little boy will never see his father again. And his mom is still a selfish BB.

This started last August and the BM was as conniving as she was evil. She started a whole big investigation on the BD (because she wasn't getting her way and she didn't think she was getting enough CS)and when the BD didn't want to play her games, she cut off all contact and communication with his son. From that point on, fiance was distraught; devastated and severely depressed. He would have walked through fire for this little boy. I've met the little boy and he is the sweetest kid ever despite having a mother who didn't give a hoot about him. To her he was an inconvenience in her life. She would never bathe him, nor have him practice ANY proper hygiene whatsoever. I know this because I used to see him all the time when he came over to my friend's house (from work) before the BM changed all that. She would never take him to get his haircut. Nothing. She wanted her son's father to pay for everything but she wouldn't allow them to see each other! So how could he pay for it, on top of CS if she wouldn't let him see his son? The BD would have gladly paid for anything, but he how could he when he couldn't see his son? A viscious cycle and so unnescessary. She is the epitome of PAS. In the dictionary where it is supposed to have the definition it says please refer to so-and-so: BM from hell.

So the BD has been severely depressed and hasn't been able to work or anything. He fell apart basically and last night he obviously snapped. My friend came home and found him. She had no reason to ever believe he would do this to himself. I will only speculate on this and I have no way of proving it, but I have a feeling in my gut that he just couldn't get around the fact that he couldn't see his son like he used to and that the BM's erratic behavior had a lot to do with why he chose to do what he did. He had other problems, but nothing that ever pointed to anything that we don't all go through, but he was just so devastated that he couldn't see his son and every time she took him to court for some such CS issues, which he paid religiously, he could never convince a judge to see that all he wanted was to be a good father. He was so loving. Why does this have to happen to all the BD's that really want to take responsibility and do the right thing?

I am feeling like a deer in the headlights. I'm stunned. But I know I don't feel anywhere near as terrible as my friend does. She's still in shock and will be for a while I'm certain of that. I want to be able to drop everything and just be with her, but I have the four kids and their father is away at this moment...she knows that and luckily his family is close by and they love her dearly so she's got people around her...I know I'll be able to help her more in the coming weeks, but that's not soon enough for me...

I don't like to use the word hate, but I just want to go to the BM's house and bitch slap her silly and scream at her and ask her if she feels better now that she drove him to this? What are you going to tell your son? How on earth do you explain it so the little boy doesn't grow up thinking that it was his fault in some way? Then again, a lot of kids at that age (9) still think the world revolves around them and that they are immune to anything negative. The BM has already poisoned him and brainwashed him, and there's no doubt in my mind whatsoever that she'll be even more horrible and cast a negative shadow in the wake of this terribly sad story. I wouldn't put it past her to blame everyone else but take no responsibility herself. She'll twist it around to say that his dad didn't love him enough. I'll tell you one thing, if I ever find out that she told her son the truth about how he died, I will hunt her down and beat the shit out of her. And God strike me down for saying this but, it actually gives me a sense of satisfaction to think that at least now she can't get any CS from him or harass him or take him to court everytime she has a financial crisis. However, I'm sure she'll be on the phone right quick to get the Social Security benefits I'm sure. And she'll use that for herself and never use it for who it's meant for in the first place: her son. I'm generally not this mean, but it just makes me sick how much she used to take advantage of the system and use her son as a pawn to get what she wanted no matter who it hurt. And the person it's hurt the most is this little boy.

I guess this is a perfect example of what can happen when the BM is such a nutjob. I'm sure many of the BD's will be able to relate to this in one way or another and hopefully if they are feeling overwhelmed don't feel that they don't have any other options than to end their life. He was 41.

Well, I feel a little better but I can't stop hearing my friend telling me. She called me and I was in my car and I almost had an accident because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I started shaking so badly that I had to pull over and pull myself together.

I'm going to sign off. Thanks for listening. MamaJenn24