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I wrote a book about becoming a stepmom because I was scared. I wanted to talk to as many people as I could to make sure that I did it “right.” And I learned so much from the many brave stepfamilies I interviewed for the book. I found out what worked. I wrote it all down. I practiced it in my own home. But there are still days when I can’t handle stepmotherhood with very much grace at all.
I guess we've all had both, right? Some of it has been a success and some perhaps not so much. I'm curious as to what you think has been behind the times when you were successfully being what you consider an effective SM and what might have been going on when things were not so effective.
SD 17 (will be 18 in Jan) has not been a part of our family since March of last year. She moved in with us Jan of last year and when she went to her mom's for the weekend the beginning of March, she never came home. BM drove her to our house and she cleaned out her bedroom while we were at work and moved back in with her mom. BM lives on our support checks, and basically made SD feel like she had to move home, because they couldn't make it without her.
So she tells the 7 yo that santa will bring her anything she wants, but at dad's house; gifts from her will be waiting at their home out of state when they return (we got them the 15-1st) Why is that bad? Cause we forked out all the money for Santa, for 6 kids total, and the kids get an outfit and Pjs from us (as parents) and everything else from "santa" so, she gets to shower them with gifts while we look cheap!
How would you handle? The girls are 2 and 7 that live out of state, the kids that live with us are 14, 11, 10 and 7.
So my fiance never came to his senses and started behaving like a man in order to keep me.LOL
So...I am considering getting back out there much sooner then I ususally do for my pathetic ego's sake(yes all you amateur psychologist ,I realize this is unhealthy,but heack I will be 42 soon and I want to try again)
My question is will I ever get over the pain this man and his hateful, selfish, and like fish drinking kids have done?
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Oh how I think ending this whole thing would be easier than having to spend another holiday with skids that want nothing to do with me. I have been portrade as such a piece of crap that at times I actually stop and think .. did I do something wrong. The answer is yes ... I loved these kids, wipped their asses, gone to school plays, helped with homework, made their BIO mom mother's day gifts with them, showed them that there is more to life than just finishing High School. Many other things but I will not go on an on. Now I sit and find myself down and out.
I know this doesn’t have a lot to do with step parenting, but I’ve got to vent. When I moved off to Houston I got away from the people I grew up around & learned to live according to a higher standard. The only problem I ever had over there was that I could not be an individual & that drove me crazy. So I moved back to my hometown area (& also to be closer to my folks to give them a hand… they’re getting old & my mother is disabled.) When I moved back my mother called a lot of people to tell them I was coming back.
In all the other hullaballo, I forgot to mention that my fiance's parents got time from his ex again this weekend. We offered them time on Dec 23rd to come to our new house and bring the kids their gifts. They never responded to our offer of a couple of hours, and instead had the kids this weekend. Not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things but they gave the kids gifts from Santa. On Dec 16th. I have posted before about my opnion of having Santa come 1 night early. What the hell are they thinking pretending that santa came 2 weeks early.
but...who out there has had experience getting over a SO cheating on you? There are a 1,000 questions going on in my mind, and I cannot get visual images out of my head. I need help!
Hanny
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