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In your own humble opinion....WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE??

steppie1999's picture

With Mother's Day having been here and got me to thinking...HMMMMM

What's in a name...really???

We are all STEPS...but how is that different from being an 'in-law'??
Seriously...when we marry a man, we become an in-law to a family we were not born why does there have to be such a difference when we marry into a family where the children of our Husband's were not biologically ours??

I know this line of thinking would never enter the minds of any of the evil BM's that we all deal with on a day to day basis...
but what do you all think??
Am I just delusional??
Or does this line of thinking make any sense to anyone else??


unknown's picture

and in a case like mine, i am constantly watched and judged to make sure i am catering to the poor 'child of divorce' in the manner in which he is accustomed to. well, i do not do this and don't think anyone else should either. and therefore, i am the evil stepmom now. as far as i'm concerned, as long as a stepparent is fair and kind to the skid, that is ALL anyone can expect from them. as far as terms and labels go: i don't care what he calls me, just don't call me mom.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Georgie Girl's picture

To me, the definition of an in law is a person that you are related to by marriage. So, not only does this apply to my mil but my skids as well. They are all my in-laws. Relatives by choice not by blood.

And Moody, I know how you feel. I too am scrutinized for everything that I do and even though I am very fair to my skids mil and sd seem to think that I do absolutely nothing for the poor dears and only want to deny them things. It is frustrating. Sd acts as if her dad is rich and the only way she gets anything is if it is through him. Little does she know that I pay for half of everything she gets and right now while her dad is transitioning into his new position that we are living of of MY savings.

Stepparenting... it is not for the weak

unknown's picture

what do we do about it? sounds like you and i are in the same boat....and i am at a point where i feel that they all expect me to treat this child like they do. anything he wants, he gets. they place NO expectations on him ie. bedtime, brushing of teething, showering, helping with dishes, internet time, tv time, etc. and he loves this. of course he loves it. at home, there are rules and guidelines. when he comes here, it's a free for all. and in an attempt to rid themselves of this ridiculous and misplaced guilt, all the adults in the situation (except me, b/c i have no guilt) cater to him and ignore their better judgment and treat him like he's 18 when he's clearly only 12. and when you or i don't follow suit, we get criticized. i have no idea what to do about this anymore. what i would LIKE to do is just blow up one day and tell them ALL to kiss my a**. but of course, i cannot. so, i bite my tongue. over and over and over. this sucks.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Nette5's picture

I call my ex's family the "out-laws".... After reading this post, I'm starting to think the BM's and their families should be called "out-laws".