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I'm happy I found this place,and I'm new here. I guess I'll tell some of my history. I've been married for a few years now. We don't have children together(yet). My DH has two sons from a previous relationship.
In my last post I mentioned that SD15 had emailed this week that she "might" want to do something with her dad. Hasn't seen him in 6+ months due to a blow out over bad grades.
I know that sounds terrible, but I do. Yes he is the father of my four children but sometimes I just so want to see him hurt. hurt the way he hurt me and our children. He was abusive yoward me and our children when we were together and when I broke that final time, after he through my then 8yr old son across the shed and cut his head open on the corner of an airconditioner that was stored in there. I yelled and screamed and cried and said no more. it won't be happening anymore, I was calling the police.
Nothing but fighting-he has done nothing but critize everything I've done this weekend, while all he has done is lay around, watch TV, stuff his face with the food I cook. So we had a blow out. When he threw his trash on the floor, because I had moved the trash can down two steps-mind you, he's too lazy to walk two steps!-so he throws the trash on the floor, leaving it for me to clean up.
Theory~ Some children,especially ones that our "sensitive" in nature, when the parents divorce in the child's "elementry years", get "stuck" at the age they were at , at the time of the break-up/divorce. Emotionally, they stop growing and maturing as they should, and that leads to a variety of problems later in life, even into adulthood. (it does explain alot of what we all see in skids) Was wondering what you all thought?
I dont look forward to the weekends that his daughter comes over at all because i know that he changes with my son when his daughter is around. Im even afraid to leave my son at home if i have to work because last time i did that he took a game away from my son to give it to his daughter and when my son didnt want to let her play with it he gave my son the game and told his daughter come on lets leave him alone with his game..(they are both 9) how am I suppose to feel about this???/
I feel that my SD thinks that this is a competition between me and her. She does things to her dad that I think sometimes are not appropriate but her dad doesnt stop her right there. lt me give you some examples. For one she lays on his lap but with her head right on top of his crotch. (am I bugging?) She grabbed him from behind one day and his cell was in his lap and she was grabbing it not knowing what it was and saying whats this!!!! We went to my mothers house and we were all sitting on the sofa but she was practically sitting underneath her father. Thats how far up his ass she was.
My boyfriend has been paying child support for the past year in the form of School tuition. Sometimes he does pay late but it is only by a couple of days because we get paid every two weeks and it didnt land on the date. But when he did pay he would pay a late fee along with the payment. he would then pay llunch for the next two weeks and aftercare. Well BM decides that she wants to take him back to court because she wants the money to be directly taken out of his check...
and would totally accept & value your imput. I have not "posted" on this site in quite a while, instead, just browsing and learning from some wonderful (step)parents out there. That being said, here is where I stand.
I read a lot here about BF and BM guilt parenting the skids, but what about us stepmoms and dads? In some ways, I think I may be guilt parenting sd14. More often then not, SD arrives for her weekly visitation, I'll have left her something on her bed. Its usually not anything expensive, a book, a cool pen, a sweater I saw on sale that I thought she'd like, things like that.