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Recent Blog Posts
Thanksgiving here, Christmas coming. And we're all tied up in knots. We're taking meds for migraines, losing our hair, losing our minds. And crying inside.
We married our H's, moved in with our Bf's, with only the best loving intentions. I, as many of you, thought I could build a lovely home for H and myself, a refuge for H's d's, and still maintain the same home my son was always so glad to come to. In a nutshell, I wanted to provide the home for H & skids I provided my own children in my first marriage.
I had major "fall-out" of my hair yesterday, had this happen before, but it was due to the meds. I was on, (depression/anxiety) I stopped all meds. a while ago, and stopped counseling over the summer, was not "jellin" with the counselor to well, so got discoraged. My hair is pretty short, due to the last episode......today, it looks like absolute hell. I don't want to get into detail on what it looks like, alot came out yesterday in the back mostly.
As some of you know, BM is expecting, and in the last few weeks F (and me by proxy) have been called on more and more to pick up BM's slack shuttling SD around, including thanksgiving day. (not our day, not our problem in my book, but F doesn't see it that way)
Ok so me my son and BF go to my moms house sunday to watch the dolphin game and to eat. We are sitting down just talking and watching the game when there is a knock at the door. My sister says come in and it is my EX. Now this is someone that has spit in my face and called me every name in the book. but my mother and step dad and sister let him visit still. Anyway after he came in he went up to my BF shook his hand and introduced hiself and went and greeted my mother and sister and just said hey to me from far. I said NOTHING back.
The step brats "punishment" for bringing home two F's and a D turned out as follows....DH "grounded" her to her room for the weekend with "no electronics"...I guess I should give him some kudo's because he stuck by her grounding to her room (heavy sarcasm intended)... She spent the entire weekend upstaires in her room all right..
Problem is that he "forgot" to remove the electronics from her room and he "forgot" to insure that she spent her time in her room completeing those missing homework assignments that resulted in her poor grades..
So here was her "punishment"....
BF and I have been together for 4 years now. BM has never had a full on relationship with anyone since BF and her split (only afew blow ins) until now.
She is with someone who she has just introduced to the skids (last Tuesday), she is talking about wanting to get married, settling down with someone etc... (she told the skids this). Anyway none of this bothers me in fact I'm happy about it cause that just means she wont be trying to cause trouble for us as much anymore (she always settles down alittle when someone new is in her life).
I don't know how to do it.
I don't know how to not get upset when I find SD13 sleeping in my bed. (Brought that up to H today-waited a whole week to calm down and say something about it to him. Of course, he got mad. I am unreasonable, again).
I don't know how to not get upset when I walk into My living room, and can't even sit down to watch TV because H & his have sprawled all over all available seating.
I don't know how to not get upset when H throws eggshells on the floor because the trash is moved to 2 steps away.
In the last 4yrs sd has been sent home from school with ( brace yourselves) head lice. :sick: Once though it was really dandruff that was so bad you couldn't see her scalp. I realize that this can be a problem with preschoolers and very small children but she is 19 in 2 weeks. I had NEVER had a problem with lice when I was in school and neither did my boys. What got me poed was H didn't tell me the real reason she got sent home right away. The last time this happened she went to MIL and gave her, her husband and dog lice.
CSA agency ....
Centrelink ( where we are entitled to money from our govt for our children or aren't working and pensioners etc)
So anyway the cs wont take into account the 3rd party's income for the sd 16 residing with them ok.... cs are taking from the bm and hubby...
But the 3rd party has some kind of permission to be the sd's legal guardian! With that a guardian or a conservator or such is someone appointed to look after the financial welfare and well being of the child or the person in question!
How do you all handle Christmas cards?
Three years ago, December 5th, was the most traumatic day of my life. I won't go into it now, but, suffice it to say I have not sent out one card since that time.
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